Monday, May 2, 2011

Get Past His Commitment Phobia and Make Him Want to Be With Only You

Do you wonder what's going on with men and why they never want to settle down? Are you thinking that you are never going to get past his commitment phobia and into the secure, committed relationship that you long for? Perhaps you don't have problems meeting men but you struggle to make a relationship last. You are not alone. Many women just don't naturally seem to understand what works with men in dating and relationships and begin to wonder if men are a different species who are all commitment phobic.

The good news is, that this couldn't be further from the truth and thinking in this way is not going to attract the relationship that you want, so perhaps it's time for a change. Many times, the misunderstandings that lead us not to be successful at dating and relationships just come from the differences between the sexes and how we communicate. This does not mean that there are no users and abusers out there, so you must take responsibility for your own self-preservation by setting good boundaries for what you will and will not tolerate from a man.

If you want to get past his commitment phobia and make your relationship work then there are 3 qualities that you must cultivate in your relationship - you must be able to connect with him emotionally, you must see and meet his needs and you have to be able to make him feel good. When you can do these 3 things, you should easily be able to find security and commitment, because he will want to keep coming back for more. Under these circumstances, most men will be eager to please their special woman and will go out of their way to make her feel happy. And it is this mutual loving support which builds the foundation of relationships which have the potential to last long-term.

So, how do you create this connection? By communicating with love, affection and understanding. Greet him affectionately and appreciate everything he does for you. Make him feel special and let him know that you understand that his needs and wishes are just as important as yours. When you communicate your respect and admiration for your man, then you make him feel good.

Unfortunately, too many women get this wrong. They are constantly communicating what is wrong in their relationships, instead of what is right. Their dissatisfaction and frustration is evident and pushes him away, instead of drawing him closer, as they would wish. When he is subjected to this torment, a man shuts down and stops communicating. He generally develops a case of commitment phobia. However, when you drop the anger, criticism and emotional drama, and allow him to be completely himself, then he is able to trust you and open up to you.

Therefore, if you want commitment and security, you must appreciate the good things in your relationship rather than dwelling on what you don't like. You must communicate the things you love about him above the imperfections. Make it easy for him to make you happy and you will give him the confidence to try. Believe me, he wants to do this for you as much as you want it. Start to communicate your pleasure to him and watch his commitment phobia disappear so that he only wants to be with you.


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