Sunday, May 8, 2011

What to Do If He Doesn't Want a Relationship Right Now - Is There Hope He Will Change?



You find a guy that you are interested in and as he's interested in you go on a few dates, there seems to be a connection between you and you broach the idea of being in a relationship with each other. But, your guy who really, really likes you, and might even say that one day you could be married, but at this moment in time he is not quite ready for a relationship. So, on the one hand it sounds like wedding bells are going to chime, on the other maybe not just yet, what's all that about? What do you do if your doesn't want a relationship right now, and is there any hope that he will change?

First of, if he doesn't want a relationship right now, then is he really someone who you want to be with. Why are you interested in him, is it purely based on his looks, or is there more to him. You cannot build a relationship based on infatuation, it has to be based on friendship and caring.

If he doesn't want a relationship right now it could be the case that he is just not interested, and this is his polite way of turning you down.

He might just be after sex with you, so he's doing just enough to keep you interested, which unfortunately for you means that you are running after him with no idea of what it going on. If he has all the benefits of a relationship and none of the commitment, then he might be quite happy to have you running after him.

It could also be the case that he is confused and is uncertain what he wants, whether it just something light or a bit of fun. If he is still trying to work through his feelings for you then you should get the relationship that you want.

If you keep waiting for him to stop dithering and make his mind up you could be waiting for ever and a day. You need to take charge of the situation, it's time to put your cards on the table, you don't have to be pushy about it, but you do need to know where you stand, and whether he is worth expending any more time or emotion on. You need to find out what kind of guy he is, is he just after your body or is he interested in you.

You need to have a talk with him and bring up the subject of relationships. When he says that he doesn't want a relationship right now then ask him what he does want. Tell him what you want, and here you want to describe the type of relationship that you want. Once you've said your piece then do the, oh look at the time, I'll have to go routine, and then walk of. Give him a day or two to think things over. Hopefully he'll have liked the sound of your definition of a relationship and he'll want to talk some more.

You need to talk to him again. Explain to him all rational and calm how you feel and that you want to develop a relationship with him. Tell him that you can understand if he doesn't want a relationship right, and that you will respect his decision. If he is still dithering then tell him that you have enjoyed your time together, but you need something more and you cannot afford to put your life on hold for ever. Then tell him that you are going to look for someone else to build a relationship with. When you say those words you have to mean them, don't forget, you could find someone far more suitable for you who is more than happy to commit to you.

Cut of all contact with him and don't answer his calls. If he really cares about you then he will wake up and come after you. If he has no interest in you then nothing further will happen and you will be able to get on with your life rather than wasting it on him.

What do you do if he doesn't want a relationship right now? You take control of this situation and give him the chance to follow or go. Is there hope that he will change? Only if he cares for you, if he has no real interest in you he will never change.



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