Sunday, May 8, 2011

What You Can Do If Your Boyfriend Isn't Taking Your Relationship Seriously



You meet a guy, you like each, you want to get to know each other so you have a few dates, you have fun together, life is looking good, and then for reasons unknown, your boyfriend who you are head over heels for just can't be bothered anymore. You still might go on dates, you still might talk, but not on a regular basis, and one thing that you have noticed is that you are having to do all the running in the relationship. Is there anything that you can do if your boyfriend isn't taking your relationship seriously?

First of all you need to ask a very important question, if your boyfriend isn't taking your relationship seriously, where's the point? Is there any particular reason that you keep running after him or do you enjoy being let down? What is your relationship based on, is it just his looks, what can he really offer you? You cannot build a relationship based on infatuation alone. Infatuation might give you an initial temporary bond, but that is just to help you to get to know each other, if it's going to be a serious relationship, then you need to have friendship, caring and trust.

Do you know why your boyfriend isn't taking your relationship seriously, have you talked to him about it, has he given you any genuine answers? Have you talked to him about his change in attitude, or if you wanted to talk about it was he prepared to talk, or was it a subject that didn't interest him.

Not every relationship works, not every couple is compatible, and this could be his way of telling you that your relationship is not meant to be. He just doesn't have the courage to say it himself. On the other hand he could be keeping you around until someone better comes along.

A relationship is made up of two equal partners, each of whom has an equal responsibility to make the relationship work. Making the relationship work takes commitment and it can only happen if the two of you really want to be together, one person cannot do all the work by themselves. Let's face it, if he really cared for you then he would do what he could to make you happy, if he is not doing that then he is showing that he's not really that bothered about you, and that he has other priorities.

Admittedly guys can be very slow to work through their emotions and can find it difficult to express them, which can make the road to commitment a long and winding one. However, to not take your relationship seriously is to take you for granted, and that is showing you a complete lack of respect.

You might have invested a lot of time and emotion into this relationship so it might be difficult to view it rationally. You could keep hoping and hoping that things will change, but how much of your life can you invest to doing that. If the guy is a waste of time then you need to cut your loses and find someone with whom you can build a loving and fulfilling relationship.

What can you do if your boyfriend isn't taking your relationship seriously, you can start by taking control, you need to stand up for yourself! He could have grown used to the fact that you'll keep chasing after him so he takes you for granted, lets you do all the chasing, so stop it. Don't contact him. If he wants to see you or speak to you then he has to make the effort. Show him that he is not the centre of you life and that your world does not revolve around him. If he calls then you haven't got time to speak to him, as you've got something else to do. Go out with your friends, get some new interests, make the most of your life, you could take a dance class, you have far better things to do with your time than wait for him to take notice of you. If he is serious about you then he will come looking for you, at which point you need a long talk with him about the future of the relationship. If he's not interested in you, or if all he wanted you for was sex, then he won't.

What can you do if your boyfriend isn't taking your relationship seriously? You can stand up for yourself, show him that you're not just there for his pleasure, and take control of your life. Give him a taste of his own medicine, if he wants to talk to you or see you then make him work for it. There is a chance that he might come round, but do you want to waste your time with a user? If he has shown no commitment to the relationship then it is difficult to see how he could change. If he was serious about you then he would show his love in word and deed. My personal opinion is that if you are with someone like this, don't waste your time with them, find someone with who you can build a loving, caring, healthy relationship. There is more to life than trailing after someone who just doesn't want to know.



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