Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Overcoming Commitment Phobia - Top 5 Ways to Overcome Commitment Phobia



Overcoming commitment phobia is one great way to be relieved of a strange feeling that keeps you hanging on a situation that doesn't promote growth and interpersonal relationship.

The issues of commitment

As strange as the fear is, at some point we are happy that in our lived we have found someone we believe we will be sticking forever until the end. However, when we think of the changes, anxiety comes near to us, and would even ask ourselves, "Is it really the best decision we can make or is there someone better out there?" That is one sign of becoming fearful with commitment.

Fear of commitment or commitment phobia is a fear of going out from being single to engaging in a long term relationship. The issue with this kind of fear is very hard to resolve. People with these kinds of fear are so much scared of the lifetime dedication to a ONE person. Sometimes, the fear is not just brought about without known cause, the negative past experiences in a relationship may caused the fear, or from the books and experiences from significant others can also contribute to this fear. Financial consequences could also be one issue lead to such fear. Whichever reasons there are, it always boil down to one thing: the inability of the person to get involved in a relationship where there is expression of love, intimacy, trust, respect, etc. it is a dread for them to share some of those with others, and fear making promises. These fear involved relationships among family, friends and lover.

The Pros and Cons

Living with this kind of fear can prevent you from being able to build meaningful relationship with someone from the opposite sex. Remember, we are all humans and we are bound to interact, to socialize and to get involved with someone despite differences. So, any form of fear of commitment can give you a LONELY AND BORING LIFE. Although you want to escape the idea of financial strains from getting into the relationship, or to infidelity and other relationship problems, being in a relationship is one of the wonderful experiences you can ever have. You see, many of you can never get that wonderful experience because you are afraid to commit.

Overcoming Commitment Phobia

Even if we are constantly fearful about anything that can happen in the relationship, there are ways on how to overcome it. Even if it can be a long and very difficult task, learning the hard way on overcoming the fear is well worth the effort.

1. The first thing you need to do is WRITE all your thoughts about your FEAR. Take a look at what has happened in the past to create the present situation, the present you. When you see on a note all about your present you just as the way you are, it can provide HELP as to have a real view of what is really happening in yourself. It can offer clues as well on HOW are you going to change it.

2. Work out your fear. Think clearly about it. How is it affecting your life? Find out the main reason for this fear? Is there someone involved in the past that made you feel this way? Knowing the contributory factors of such FEAR will help you BIG TIME in overcoming it.

3. Take support from OTHERS. It will not hurt you when ask for support from friends, families or from a professional. It's good to seek support when you really want to commit but fear stops you. Asking for help and support will get rid all your worries and fears as you enter into the relationship. Really, it can do wonders. You will be given the chance to find out personally what a wonderful experience to be in a relationship as you will be learning from other's experience, and their success stories of conversion from a commitment phobic to non-commitment phobic person.

4. Never dare enter into a relationship with the desire to overcome the FEAR. Taking risk at this moment will not help. You will be worsening the case especially when you failed. You will get hurt and so as the person involved.

5. With your friends who have been into a relationship for so long or even to your parents and grandparents, learn from them. Ask them on how they have stood through the test of time despite the trials that come on their way. Ask them the feeling of being together for so many years and ask tips of what are the ways they did to solve the problems such as financial, infidelity, priorities, etc. With these simple questions and the answers you get form them are very helpful to make you realize that being committed into the relationship is a wonderful experience with ups and downs, tears and laughter.

Overcoming commitment phobia is indeed hard but taking all the steps above can give you a clear view of what is COMMITMENT all about. It's not just about infidelity, problems, misunderstandings, etc. This also about savoring the feeling that you have someone to be with who will never fail to remind you that you are loved and cared. For people who have fear of commitment, think always of the BRIGHTER SIDE and you will be able to slowly build meaningful relationship with friends, family and most of all with someone you can be with for the rest of your life.



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