Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Signs You Are Not Ready for a Committed Relationship



If you have a good relationship then there shouldn't be anything to fear as it is the time when your relationship becomes richer and deeper. Assuming that you are right for each other, then commitment is the final stage in the commitment cycle. Unfortunately not everyone in a relationship arrives at the, let's get committed stage, at the same time, which can lead to resentment and misunderstanding. Going into a committed relationship is a big step so it is vital that you do not make that step before you are ready. How do you know if your are ready? Well, here are the signs that you are not ready for a committed relationship.

Probably the most important question that you need to be certain about is, do you love your partner enough to want to share your life with them. Entering into a committed relationship is a big step, so are you certain that your partner is the one for you? You are going to have to change the way that you live, whilst you get more in return than you lose, are you ready to part company with your freedom and the ability to make decisions based on what you want?

Do you have realistic expectations for the relationship? Do you have a shared vision that you will both work towards, or do you have your own ideas that are based more on fantasy than reality?

If you are going into a committed relationship then you have to be committed to your partner and no-one else. If you are still seeing other people or are still interested in seeing others then do not commit. You have to be able to devote the time and energy to build and develop your relationship, you won't be able to do that if you have a string of partners on the go. You partner has to come before anyone, you and your partner are a new family unit, and that takes precedence over friends and family. If you put your friends and family before your partner, then it sends a clear signal not just that you are not ready for a committed relationship, but that you have no respect for your partner.

Are you still carrying baggage around from previous relationships. The past has happened and there is nothing that you can do to change it. You might have had problems and been hurt in the past, but if you want to move forward you have to get closure on your issues. If you cannot get closure then you will never be able to deal with your issues, they will continue to haunt you and might ruin all your attempts to find happiness. Because you have been hurt in the past, it does not mean it will happen again, but until you deal with your past you will continue to have serious trust issues.

You are certainly not ready for a committed relationship if you are unable to share and to compromise. To make a relationship work you both have to be totally committed to building the best possible relationship that you can. This takes time, effort and you have to make sacrifices. Does everything have to be done your own way, do your wants and needs have to come first, is there no room in you for compromise? There is no place in a healthy relationship for selfishness.

Are you psychic? Is your partner psychic? How can they know your feelings for them unless you tell them. If you cannot express yourself to them then you will be unable to connect emotionally, and if you cannot connect emotionally then you do not have a real relationship. If you love your partner then you should be able to tell them how you feel about them, it takes very little effort to say, I love you, but actually doing that can mean a lot. Look at it as a trust issue, if you are unable to open up to your partner are you hiding something, are you keeping secrets? And if you find yourself unable to open up to your partner, are they the one for you, or do you need to explore your feelings more?

Having a committed relationship means being prepared to commit the time to make it work. If you don't have the time then it is unlikely to work, you would just end up as two individuals who happen to live together. No matter how busy you are you have to make the time to be together to share interests, to go on dates, or to just talk. Doing things together is the only way that you can keep your bond intact and your relationship alive. I realize that you both have lives outside of the relationship, you have family, friends, and interests, and it is important that you spend time doing your own thing. There will be times when work commitments take up most of your time, at times like that when time is precious your partner has to come first, everyone else takes second place. If you cannot commit the time, then don't commit.

Only you can say if you are ready to enter into a committed relationship. You need to have the depth of feeling for your partner that will allow you to commit totally to the relationship. Don't let yourself get pressured into committing before you are ready, when you commit it has to be because you know that it is the right thing for you. If you have any doubts or concerns then talk about them with your partner, you might be surprised at just how understanding they are. If you are ready to take that step then go forward together, and work to build the best possible relationship that you can.



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