How to Become Partners For Life

When you get married how many of you think that anything could go wrong? No-one, because at that point you are looking forward to spending the rest of your lives together. But obviously thing do go wrong, you have only got to take a look at the divorce statistics to know that. To many people seem to forget that once you get married you do not automatically get to live happily ever after, that is something that you have to earn by committing to creating the best possible relationship that you can. So, how to become partners for life?

One of the great certainties of the universe is that people change. Our experiences of life change us, our growing maturity and understanding of the world changes us, you are no longer the person that you were when you first met your partner. And as you both change then so does you relationship. If you are serious about becoming partners for life, then you have to accept and embrace change, don't resist change, just look at it as a way to further and deepen your relationship.

So much of what happens in life revolves around communication. Communication binds the world together, it binds nations together, and it binds relationships together. If you never talked, how would you get close and connect with each other. If you want to become partners for life you both need to learn to speak plainly to each other, and not take offence if you don't like what you hear, don't drop vague hints, don't expect your partner to be psychic, be open and honest.

It's all very well saying you need to talk, but if you are unable to listen then you might as well save your breath. Don't just listen with your ears, which admittedly can be difficult, also learn to pick up on non-verbal communication. Learn how to read your partners body language, because no matter what we say or don't say, our body language always reflects what we are really thinking.

All relationships have problems, so if you know that there is a problem, then talk to your partner and together work out how to deal with it. As soon as you spot an issue you need to deal with it, if you leave it, it can only grow which will result in bitterness and resentment. If you want to become partners for life you have to learn how to compromise, and on occasion make sacrifices, as their will be times when your wants, needs, and opinions will clash. As you are equal partners in the relationship, one person cannot dictate what happens. Both of you need to find a way through problems that you are both happy with, you are a partnership, so work together.

It is vital that you spend quality time together as that is what makes you come closer together, and makes being partners for life something special. You need to be able to enjoy life together or else you are just not going to bond. It's not always easy finding time for each other, but even if you have to synchronize schedules you still have to do it. It doesn't have to anything complicated, simple can be just as much fun, if not more. Just do things together that you both enjoy, find new things to do and see, it keeps your relationship interesting, and gives you something to look forward to, to talk about, to connect.

Just as time together is important, you also need to have your own space. You both came into this relationship with your own lives and you cannot give them up just because you are together. Your personal life makes you the unique individual that you are, it makes you the person that your partner fell in love with, if you lose that then you lose your identity, you lose who you are, and you are no longer the person that your partner fell I love with. If you place too much reliance on one person to fulfil all your wants and needs then you run the real risk of becoming bored with them, as well as becoming a boring person yourself.

Words are such cheap things, it doesn't take much effort to say something, but if you don't back up your words with actions and give them meaning, then how will your partner know that you love them. We all need to know that there is someone who loves us, but it is even more important in a relationship, if your partner does not know that you love them will they stay with you, or more to the point would you stay with someone who you thought did not love you. We are not psychic, and, "well you should know how I feel," is a bit pathetic, so tell your partner that you love them and how much you appreciate them, and find ways to tell them everyday. Let your partner know through touch, gifts, spontaneity, notes, call them, do things that will make them happy, and if you are struggling for inspiration then watch a romantic movie with them.

If you want to become partners for life you need to have a joint long-term vision for your relationship. This can be achieved by setting long-term goals such as career, where to live, family, vacations etc, goals that you both have to work towards. Once you have achieved a goal set another one. In this way you are always looking and working to the future. If you do that then it gives your relationship a sense of purpose, continuity, and permanence.

So, work at your long terms goals, share your lives with each other, take pleasure in being together, and commit to create the best possible relationship that you can. If you can do all that, then you should end up as partners for life.