Relationships Out of Economic Necessity

In Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich, the author goes to three different areas of the country to try her hand as an entry-level worker. She goes to a different town, starts a job that she has no experience in, and then lament's about how little she is making and how hard she works, all the while trying to find an apartment that she can afford on her own. Big shocker, this is difficult for poor Barbera, but instead of seeking a creative solution like finding someone to live with, she goes on with some liberal socialist drivel about how unfair it is. The fact is that it is tough, maybe even unfair, for those of us just starting out.

Perhaps one reason many people get involved in relationships so soon is because it's tough to pay the bills on your own. Thought there is the matter of surging hormones, if you are able to make ends meet on your own, you are less likely to give up your independence so fast. You don't really have many choices staring at you when your 18 years old. Your folks want you out, and you want to be out.

Most people at this point get on the government dole and go to college. They live on student loans, which are almost always federal. Many people stay there for years. I've known many "career" students that dawdle around, taking their time switching majors, perhaps because they never get a bill. Often they put out this poor student vibe for a few months in between the checks from Uncle Sugar, and then they eat well for a while. There are always the things they must have for school, a nice camera for photo class, clothes, or whatever. Most of the people I knew in school were always broke but had the nicest things. But what if you don't go to school?

You either stay at home until you get sufficient experience to live on what you make or you get someone to share the bills. For some reason this isn't mentioned at all in the book. In each town she is trying her best to get into her own personal apartment, and lamenting how hard it is to find anything affordable. It's just a fact of life everywhere, in every country, that when you're poor you have less personal living space. Everyone I know that has started out has lived with a roommate or hitched up with someone so they only needed a one bedroom. People living with low wages simply have to rely more on other people. This is not always such a bad thing.

It's strange at the end she talks about how other industrialized nations have all these various government programs to help them out, but she doesn't talk about how much poorer everyone is. Talk to anyone from any European country and they will tell you how rich we are here. Our living standards keep going up, the amount of space in our homes has gone up, and the price of food keeps going down. Given the choice between handouts or opportunity, I think most of us want opportunity.

Even with all the opportunity we have here in the US, we still have to start somewhere. Perhaps that is one reason many of us get involved or married so young. It's tough to get started, and having a partner to help with the bills is sometimes the only option. Many of our relationships are out of simple economic necessity.