Living Together Before Marriage - Read This First

The decision to live together before marriage can be complicated, but doesn't have to be. You don't really get to know someone until you live with them, but that does not mean you should give it a trial run by living together first. Couples of all ages have faced this dilemma and of the ones that have decided to live together, many have ended well but just as many have not.

There are many things to consider besides the fact that you love each other.

1. What is the purpose and will you marry- How long will you wait until you get married? Setting a timeline before the move in date will put both partners at ease. You will both know the plan and can keep moving forward in the relationship. When will you get married, buy a home or start a family are questions your friends and family may ask. If you don't talk about a goal and have a plan, you are leaving things to chance-if it happens it happens.

2. Family approval-Everyone will have an opinion about your decision and they may not approve, but it is your decision. You must know that you are an adult, you are supposed make your own decisions and carve your own life. Your decision will be what is right for you at the time, it might not always prove to be the best one, but it is your own. You can help those that don't approve try to understand this and listen to their well meaning advice, they probably have some important information to share that you didn't think of. In the end you have to take what you have learned and make your own decision, based on what is best for you.

3. Lifestyle and Expectations-Each of us has a certain expectation from each relationship, make sure you know what your partners is. Is your idea of spending time together shopping at the local mall or watching sports, are you going to need a 'girl or guys night out'? Is it ok to stay friends with and keep pictures of past relationships? What will you do on the holidays?

4. Money/paying the bills-After you figure out how each one will contribute to the household budget, you need to write the checks and do the shopping. Will you get a joint account for paying the bills or will one of you hold all the money and be responsible for the checking account? Should you start a joint savings account and keep your personal one?

5. Personal Habits-Do you take good care of yourself and eat right? Does your partner? Do you shower and tend to your personal hygiene everyday (if not you should) then clean up after yourself? How about eating all over the house and picking up your messes and cooking and cleaning in the kitchen?

6. Snoring/restless sleeper-Are you a person that snores? How about your partner? If you have never encountered one yourself, let me tell you that there are people that snore so loudly they will keep you awake. Do either of you toss and turn all night or take all the blankets?

7. Legal aspects-A legal marriage certificate gives both partners certain unalienable rights. When issues arise for an unmarried couple like any health, legal, financial matters or death, the other partner has no legal right to make any decision.

It is mostly about communication between you and your partner. Getting to know each other is good and fun but it is also a serious matter.