Is There Hope After My Husband Says He Doesn't Love Me Anymore?

After many years of marriage, there are few things that could be more devastating than to hear your husband say that he doesn't love you anymore. While there are many reasons why a man might "check out" of a relationship, bringing him to the point where he can say this. If you want to make your marriage work and bring the spark back that was once there, you'll be happy to know that there may still be hope.

The first thing you should do is take some time, without reacting any further or trying to discuss this with him. Take that time to reflect on your relationship, both in the past and the present. You will also want to examine your motivation for wanting to stay together and make it work.

Beware of any reasoning that stems from fear or desperation. You might be afraid of being alone, especially if you've been together for many years. You might be lonely and think you wouldn't know how to live without him. These are signs of fear and desperation, and may be signs that you should bite the bullet and go your separate ways.

If you decide that your reason for staying isn't based on fear, and you aren't feeling desperate, then it is probably worth the effort to try and patch things up. From here, you'll want to go back to examining your relationship to see what may have happened to bring you to this point. Many men will withdraw from a relationship if they don't feel respected. Men also tend to crave admiration, and if they don't get it, they may lose interest.

So, has your relationship changed recently? Have you been growing apart from one another? Is this new, or something that's been happening for a while? What have you done to contribute to this situation?

That last question can be difficult to answer, but it is essential. No relationship problems occur within a vacuum, and usually both parties play a strong role in them. You shouldn't focus on him if you want to patch things up. You should, however, recognize the good and bad aspects within your relationship, and particularly in him, because you can't expect him to change for you at this point.

What that means is that you are going to have to focus on those things you do that you can change. By changing your own behavior, and trying to provide him with the things he needs within the relationship, you may well be able to change his mind and bring back that feeling he thought was gone.