Get Your Ex Back Who Left Because You Didn't Want to Commit to Them!

Partners who are in a relationship with commitment issues can face huge problems. If you want to get your ex back who left because you had problems with commitment, then you need to know how the thousands of other people overcome their issues with commitment. Its not impossible to get your ex back.

Both men and women experience commitment issues and doubt when they hear those special words "I want to take our relationship to the next level." This most commonly means a marriage proposal is around the corner and when a partner with commitment issues knows this, they completely refuse to face the thought of it.

In all honesty, this is most common with men. Women would be happy to accept a marriage proposal in a millisecond, whereas some men tend to hesitate at the thought of it. When he does this, his partner suddenly begins looking at themselves in the mirror wondering what they lack that would make him not want to marry them.

Both men and women are fragile and they both can have commitment issues, its just men who aren't expected to admit their problems or talk about them. Some people would rather go to another country than pour out their emotions and feelings to their partner, even if they do love them.

The most common reason why people have commitment issues in their relationships is that they had many disappointments growing. Disappointments like not having a good role model growing up, or having parents who got divorce and argued frequently.

This makes a person afraid of investing themselves in a deep relationship like marriage because they fear the thought of it ending up in divorce, resentment, anger, and heartache. Betrayal is another reason for commitment issues.

Maybe you or your partner who has commitment issues is afraid of being betrayed if they get into such a serious relationship. Betrayal like infidelity is something to be afraid of. You need to realize that your partner will sooner or later realize that they don't have to sacrifice their own happiness to wait for you to get over your issues. You can get your ex back who left you because of this.

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Signs That He Loves You

Let's face it ladies, in these days, we just can't take anymore crap from men. We have no time to play around and be fooled around with. We value our time and with that we need to know that the person we are with is really worth our time. All women need to know that they are being treated sincerely and faithfully, and I personally believe that women need to be treated as such.

This is because when a woman loves she is not only giving love but her whole being as well. So, it's just fair that we, women should know if our partner is serious or not. Before I go on with the article, let me remind you, ladies, men are not like us.

They talk less and they have difficulty expressing their emotions. Learn to respect the individuality of your mate before presuming anything. Now that I have that settled, here are some signs he loves you. He asks questions (read: he is interested about you). A man who doesn't care will not care at all.

If a man develops a certain curiosity in your life, it's a score that he loves you. On the other hand if he shares his interest with you, it another score that he loves you also. This is your partner's way of connecting with you. So if your lover enthusiastically shares about amazing lay-ups and rebounds don't shut him up.

Another signs he loves you is when he finds your "uncanny" behavior endearing and not disdaining. I have this friend Marissa, who has an odd habit of flossing her teeth while watching television. If some people eat in front of the television, my friend would floss her time away while watching tv.

It used to bother me what will her future partner would react to her peculiar hygiene habit. But I am glad to hear that Marissa has found a man that places her floss near the couch, finds her adorably unique and most importantly appreciates her clean teeth. You know he loves you when he is proud to let you meet the people that are close to him.

For a man, this is their way of showing that they want you in their life. You are part of his circle. You know he loves you when reveals his emotional side. In other words, he tells you he loves you; say his sorry when he has wronged you and he romances you- may it be in and out of the house, it doesn't matter.

If a man shows his emotional side, you are on the right track. This could mean that a man has enough security to open up and be vulnerable. This does not apply to all men, of course. Some men have no issues being emotional and some are just too "tough" to divulge his soft side.

If you really want to find out if your partner is pulling your foot or not, the only solution here is, you need to get to know him better. People show their love and affection in different manners, all you have to do is to open your mind, without preconceptions and without expectations.

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How to Get a Man Prepared for a Serious Relationship - Positive Steps to Make Your Man Commit

After having spent a lot of time together you feel that you are ready to take your relationship to the next level. But if your man isn't looking ready then you need to prepare him for a serious relationship. Here is how you can do that without disturbing your current relationship dynamics.

Look at how close you are emotionally

When you want to make a man feel ready for a serious relationship you have to look at your emotional quotient. Being emotionally close will give you a huge advantage as your man will feel comfortable being himself with you.

Show him that you are the one he can trust

To make a man see that you both should take your relationship to the next level you have to show him your dependable and trustworthy side. Don't depend on him for help always or ask him to bail you out constantly. Make him see that you can be his support system and that he can trust you to be there for him to catch him whenever he falls.

Make his life pleasant

To prepare a man for a serious relationship you have to show him that you make his life pleasant for him. This means giving him space when he needs it, not smothering him, or giving him unnecessary grief because of your own insecurities.

Love him unconditionally

Show a man that he should be in a serious relationship with you by loving him unconditionally. If your man feels that you love him for the person that he is and not for what you expect him to be he will know that he should take the relationship with you seriously.

Be compatible intellectually

To prepare a man for a serious relationship you need to make him see that you are his intellectual equal. Intellectual compatibility is the resting ground of a solid relationship and is very important for men.

Listen to him and hear what he says

You need to show your man that you are interested in what all he has to say. Be a perceptive listener and get the advantage of knowing all about him before he even says the word. This will make him see that you are the one for him and that he should make the relationship serious with you.

Ease him into the serious conversation

Finally you need to ease your man into this conversation. Don't stump him all of a sudden with your need to be in a serious relationship. Keep things conversational and easy and your man will be ready to get into a serious relationship with you.

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Why You Should Not Move In Together

I never thought that I would be saying this, but I was reading an article on Dr. Phil's blog which really got me thinking. Normally I would be saying that if a couple loved each other, were happy and comfortable with each other, then why not move in together before marriage. When I read the article it started me thinking about divorce statistics, and the fact that if you cohabit before marriage you have a greater chance of splitting up, divorcing and having a lower quality of life together. I started to wonder why? Then it hit me, and I realised why you should not move in together before you are married.

Let us consider our happy couple. They could be any age, they might come from previous marriages, all that matters is that they are in love. They've (hopefully) taken the time to get to know each other. They like each other, they are best friends, and they feel comfortable together. They have some common ground, they talk together, and they spend quality time together. Don't they sound just wonderful.

Once they have got to know each other more, they decide to make more of a commitment to each other and their relationship by moving in together. The first few months went by in a glorious haze, but eventually their honeymoon period drifted away and the saw each other in the cold light of day. They were happy with what they saw and continued to enjoy their life together.

As time went on the initial excitement of living together started to wear of, they were still happy living together but their relationship didn't have the same kind of sparkle about it. Are you starting to get the idea of why you should not move in together?

Our happy couple had been living together for a couple of years when the decided to get married. For them it was the natural progression of their relationship. They were happy, comfortable together, they loved each, and they knew that they had found the one. Finally the big day arrived, the weather was glorious, the guests were happy and so was the happy couple. They went away on honeymoon, had a great time, they arrived back at home all ready to start married life together, only to find that nothing had changed. Well, that's not strictly true, the law says they were married, and if they wanted to part company it would be difficult and expensive.

Picture instead a couple, who are just as happy and compatible as our first couple, but they didn't move in together. they had a great wedding day, a wonderful honeymoon, and when they arrived home everything was new and exciting. They had fun getting to know each other and their relationship. In time there wasn't the sparkle but they were comfortable with each other and their relationship. This is exactly why you should not move in together.

Marriage changes the whole dynamic of your relationship, in fact you could look at it as the start of your real relationship.

When you cohabit you do everything that you would as if you were married, without being married. You go through all the fun and excitement of learning to live with each other, you become comfortable and content in your relationship, and then what? How will getting married change all that, what will marriage bring to your relationship? Should you get married you already know everything there is to know about each other, there is nothing new about living together, there is no sparkle or excitement, in fact you don't even merit a honeymoon period. In marrying you start a whole new relationship, but you start it without the excitement that would normally accompany it.

Relationships need that initial spark to help make getting to know each other and growing the relationship, fun and exciting, special, and experience that binds you together. You should not move in together before getting married because you run the real risk of not being able to grow your relationship and having a pale imitation of what you had before.

I fear that I have not done justice to, "Why You Should Not Move In Together", but I hope that I have brought across a sense of what I have been trying to achieve. I appreciate that there will be many couples who live together before marriage, and when they get married they enjoy a wonderful marriage together. Why you should not move in together, highlights a real risk that what could and should be something special, ends up as something mundane.

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Is Forcing a Guy to Marry You a Good Idea? Commitment Advice for Women

Is forcing a guy to marry you a good idea or not? If you're a woman who has been waiting a long time for a commitment you may just think it's a great idea. It's tiresome, isn't it? Putting in so much emotional energy and time into a relationship and then realizing that your man isn't the commitment type? It's frustrating to imagine an endless future of dating and having to introduce him as your boyfriend when you two have long passed your teenage years. It doesn't have to be that way. Granted, forcing a man to marry you isn't the right approach to take but there certainly is a way to get him to want to marry you and it's all about subtle persuasion.

The biggest problem with forcing a guy to marry you is that he'll put up major resistance. Immediately he'll recognize what you're trying to accomplish and his need to protect himself will overtake everything else. If he feels you're actively pushing for a commitment, and he's not completely comfortable with the timing, he'll fight you tooth and nail on it. You'll become increasingly frustrated as he digs in his heels deeper and deeper. You'll end up even farther away from a commitment than you ever were before.

One major reason why some men refuse to commit is they just don't see the logic in it. This is usually the case with a couple who live together and share every aspect of their lives. It's the same for a couple that spends a lot of time at each other's homes. They essentially are sharing their lives as any married couple would except there's no formal commitment, there hasn't been any exchanging of rings and for all intent and purposes they're still a dating couple. To the man in this relationship he's got everything he wants without the added hassle of having to make a serious commitment. To the woman in the relationship she doesn't have the one thing she truly wants which is to call the man she adores her husband.

Absolutely nothing will change if things continue as they are now regardless of how much you pressure him into a commitment. He'll hold strong because his life is ideal the way it is. That's why you need to rock the boat but in a very sweet way. You have to temper what you feel and try not to devote yourself completely to him. Pull back a bit and just focus more of your time and energy on yourself as opposed to him. Let him sense that you're becoming more emotionally independent of him. If he feels that, he'll start to wonder if there's a life for you beyond the relationship you two share and it will make him start to consider the idea of getting more serious so he doesn't risk losing you.

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Is This Relationship Healthy? Is It Worth Saving? What Are You Prepared To Do?

It is well known that over 85 percent of families are dysfunctional. This means that most families learn or adapt behavior patterns that work against the members being in integrity with what is important to them. Being in integrity with what is important means having healthy boundaries to protect your needs and feelings.

Since the percentage of dysfunctional families is so high, I would have to say that it is normal to have relationships that are challenging. So we are normal but possibly not as joyful and fulfilled as we need to be. We always learn something when things aren't going the way we plan. That is pretty much the only way we learn. If things are going right, we don't know what wrong looks or feels like. And when things are wrong, we really feel it. Our feelings are our sign post for when something is not right.

So if you are in a relationship that doesn't feel good to you, you know that something is wrong and something needs to change. Often, you are not able to be yourself within the relationship. Our self-esteem suffers when we are in a bad relationship.

Here are five points to ponder when you are at the threshold of abandoning a relationship:

1. What is it that does not work for you in this relationship? Try to answer this question with an objective point of view. Remember what is important to you in your life and write down the answer in a calm and collected way. It is ok for you to ask for what you want and you do deserve to orchestrate your own life.

2. What would it look like if your relationship with this person worked for you? What is it that you want for this relationship?

3. This point is the most important of all and a concept that is sometimes hard to grasp. Go on the assumption that nothing will change outside of yourself. We can't change other people and we can't fix them. We can only be the way we want them to be. Waiting for someone to change to make your life work is letting go of all responsibility for yourself. My favorite quote on this subject is: If it is to be, it's up to me Knowing that gives you back your power.

4. Now based on the last point, what will you have to do, to stay in this relationship and are you prepared to do it. This means that something has to change. You either have to let go of the fantasy that the person will change and do whatever it will take to live with the circumstances, or you have to let the relationship go and move on. This will not be an easy decision. It will be life-changing whichever choice you make.

Change is hard. People are reluctant to change because they are afraid of the unknown. But sometimes, our pain is so strong that the unknown is the best option. Sometimes we just have to let our relationships go to make way for new, healthy ones.

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What Is A Dominatrix?

In the 18th century, in England there are several women who offer services for discipline and flagellation. These females are called "female dominators". This woman uses whips, cane and birches to punish their male clients. They are often termed as the masochist for the use of corporal punishment and suspension. Until in modern times; now dominatrix refers to women who asked payment for a service offered, these services are related to sexual intercourse.

Women are paid for having males enjoyed their masochist way of sexual intercourse. Practicing professional Dominatrices may draw their clothing from the conventional signifiers of the position, or adapt them to create their personal individual style, where there exists a potential pull - between meeting conventional expectations, and a desire for leading autonomous self-expression.

Today for modern woman they prefer to do more action on making sex. They use lingerie to seduce effectively on making love you can see them commonly in black leather suit and a fishnet and lace and they definitely wears thong, g-string, teddies and corsets by this the more exciting styles plus there are scented candle to bring more heat on your sex life.

In other words sex has it different styles and expectation base to the person's liberation, there is no wrong on experimenting you may find you self satisfy on other ways, Part of this enjoyment is getting to know where is you climax is.

I heard that good in bed are more successful in marriage life besides why cant you have sex when it feel so good right and learn healthy sex by this you can satisfy you partner, I bet sex is the best exercise for couples.

Sex really matters between couples, and it is their choice how to enjoy it. But most men prefer that women are dominant in love making. So just improve your knowledge on making love to make it more effective for both of you.

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How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - Stupid Mistakes Most Ladies Make Getting Their Boyfriend Back

There is always great pain associated with breakups. Instead of settling down to take the right steps, you are more likely to take the wrong steps. In this article, I am not going to tell you how to get your ex boyfriend back but the things you should never do when you lose your boyfriend. It is however still the same thing. If you handle a breakup the right way, you will increase your chances of getting back with your ex but if you handle it wrongly, you will blow your chances of getting back. So here are the things you should avoid when handling breakups.

� Stop acting weak and hopeless - This is the way you will feel after a breakup. I felt the same way too. However, it is the wrong thing to do, it will piss your boyfriend off. It is natural for women to seek strong men to protect them but it is also normal for men to get tired of women who allow them get away with everything.

� Stop being too nice - You probably were killing him with being nice. Every relationship without some form of conflict is heading nowhere. There are times you have got to step up to his face and let him know some things won't work except there is an explanation. Being nice won't keep him with you, it will rather drive him father away into the arms of some tough chick.

� Stop being persuasive - If he has decided to leave you then don't persuade him to come back; that sounds pretty cheap. If he thinks he has got value then you have more value. Yeah, tell that to yourself. You should not be the one chasing him around, he should be doing that. So stop being persuasive or desperate.

� Stop being a human doormat - Does this sound familiar "Please stay, don't leave me, I will do anything you want, anything". That sounds too weak, it makes you look like you do not have a will, no desire, no hold, nothing! It doesn't work like that. More often than not, if you make yourself a doormat, it is normal for your boyfriend to talk a stroll on your head.

� Do not give your ex all the power - He doesn't have all the power anyway but you may hand it over to him when you act as if your life is ended when he leaves you. If he wants to leave, then leave him and let him go. It is either he realizes his loss or someone better comes along.

I know you are looking for how to get your ex boyfriend back but you must know that if you miss the point above, you may never get him back. So take a stand and be the director of your life. Stop giving him all the power, start taking all the power into your hands.

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Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back - What Every WOMAN Should Know About Getting Her Boyfriend Back

Are you looking for ways of getting your ex boyfriend back? I have written this article to share with you some tips which could help you in that. There is no need for you to get desperate about this. Rather, you should get yourself together for things can only get better; it doesn't get any worse. Do not worry even if he has got someone else he is dating already, just focus on yourself. Yea, this is all about you.

� Time to get selfish - You see, most of the time when we enter relationships, we forsake our dreams and goals to help our partners reach their goals. Now when they get there, then tend to forget the support and sacrifice. It is simple; it is like a girl who drops out of school to work so that her boyfriend can get money to continue schooling. Eventually, boy graduates and becomes some big shot but is not too proud to associate with his unlearned girlfriend so he breaks up with her and picks up another girl. It is an awful story but that is exactly what most of us do. We refuse to add value to ourselves just because we want to please our boys. But now, it is time to get selfish, not because you are but because you want to make it clear that you can achieve your dreams and reach your goals too.

� Add Value to yourself - You can do this by learning new things. You can pick up a degree, learn a new art, take piano lessons, write a new song, become the best in your career. Just channel all the energy you have right now into something positive. You will see yourself rising above him and becoming better, someone to reckon with and respect and you know, news travel. He will soon hear of your successes and wish you were still with him.

� Keep contacts with him - Do not cut him away from your life. As much as you can, you can leave occasional messages or mails and if it is cool with you, you can place calls to say hi. This will give him free room to reach you eventually.

� Live your life - Getting your ex boyfriend back does not require that you get desperate. He is not the only man in the world, is he? Besides, when you want something so bad and you show it, like getting desperate, you may never get it. However, if you wait in patience, while moving on with your life, those same things will chase after you and find you.

These are ways of getting your ex boyfriend back. They are not magic so do not expect them to guarantee that you get your ex but at least, it helps you to discover who you are as well as give you a way to handle the situation and this increases your chances of getting him back.

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Learn How to Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend Even When He Is With Someone Else

Are you looking for help, guide or tips on how to get back with your ex boyfriend? You probably thought he is coming back for you until you heard and found out he is with someone else. What are your chances of having him back? Right deep inside your heart, you know you are the best for him and he is happy with you but how do you bring him back to your love?

There are many questions that may be going through your head right now and all are pointers to the singular fact that you want to know how to get back with your ex boyfriend. However, you do not need to keep thinking and shattering yourself everyday for this, rather, you should be doing just one thing; adding value.

Yeah, that is the only thing I am going to talk about in this article. You see, men do not really love dependent women; they do not really appreciate women who add no value to their selves. Have you seen that when a lady proves to be stubborn and hard to get, that's when men want to be around her? It is not because she has got what other girls do not have when it comes to features but when it comes to value, she has learnt how to package herself up. That is exactly what you are going to do.

Value is essential. The mistake most youths make is that they think they should give up their life, purposes and pursuits because of their lovers and that is not true. Eventually, you are going to be the one to suffer it. Now that you are alone, take the time to add value to yourself in the following ways.

� Dress cutely - Dressing is very important. It kind of tells a great deal about you to people. You probably have not had time to buy some new clothes. Now it is time. You are not dressing for him any longer, you are now dressing to please yourself and please, make the most of the time.

� Step up your career - What was your limit? High school, college or university degree? Step up your career. You can enroll for a new degree or work hard and get promoted where you work. Let there be changes, visible changes!

� Socialize - You are not adding value to yourself by staying alone indoors and sobbing. You can however add value by showing your boyfriend that you are no "easy win" and that even if he leaves you, you can still be happy. Now that is self value.

� Be nice - This will kill him anyway. Whenever you meet outside, be nice enough to smile and say hi. Give him a hug if you have to. The other girl is no match for you in this. You are way too valued to even notice her.

Now you will notice a change of tides. Your boy's attention will be drawn to you and one of these days, you will get a visit, not a casual one. That is how to get back with your ex boyfriend.

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How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back - Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back In Your Arms Without Dying For It

Are you having a fair share of life? Are you looking for how to get your ex boyfriend back? Your boyfriend probably left you some days, maybe months ago and here you are wishing all day that he will come back to you. Maybe he has even stopped communicating with you and every time he sees you, he gives you this "you can't have me no more" look. Well, you do not have to be bitter, rather, you need a game plan which is what I am going to share with you. This is how to get your ex boyfriend back.

� Get yourself together - If you have been bitter about this, you will have to find some way of loosening up. I guess you do that by considering first the whole relationship thingy. You might want to consider the high time and the low times, the happy days and the sad days. Try and give a rating to the relationship. If it was good, be sincere enough to admit that and if it was bad, I suggest you quit looking for him back.

� One last apology - I know this could be hard but it is very essential on your part. If you have been able to identify your faults and the things you did wrong, you might want to give that one last apology. So call your boyfriend up and just pour out the words "I am sorry". Don't bother if he laughs at you or makes you feel like you are a fool. Just do what you have to do.

� Get busy - This is very essential to your life. As much as you keep to yourself, there will be reasons to be bitter but if you get busy, there may be little time to think. Getting busy may involve taking up a graduate course, learning how to play piano, doing a research etc. Just make sure there is very little time you are alone.

� Add value to yourself - Now do not ever step out of the house without looking beautiful. Your boyfriend has got to know he is missing something. Dress at your best. If you have to, change your wardrobe. You probably have not been paying attention to yourself for a long time now. This is the time to do so. Walk out of your home every morning with your head tall and a smile on your face.

� Be social - One way to reduce loneliness is to become social. Have a healthy hang out with your friends. Meet new people. Who knows, you might even find a better man while doing this. While you are busy having fun, your boyfriend will notice that you are actually having fun and will feel defeated kind of.

� Be nice to him - When you meet outside, be courteous. Do not make him feel stupid. Give him a hug and let him know he still has a special place in your heart. However, be professional about it and don't let it show you actually want him back.

� Watch him find a way to reach you - Somehow he is going to come forward and if he doesn't, what have you got to lose? You have only found strength in your weakness and that has made you a better person. This is how to get your ex boyfriend back without dying for it.

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Blessed People: Argument to Stabilize Our Society

Society has got some merits and demerits. But some people are still there who are doing something which is argument to the stabilization of our society. These are blessed people and they don,t even know. They are integral part of our society.

We see around us some guys who are doing very small things just for us e.g. some guys in your class will pass on the message about the new timing and venue of class. Some guys who have got the habit of helping somebody when they are going some where. Some guys are interested in sharing the sorrows of others. For example one is oing in his car, and looks a lady sitting on a bike behind some male, his shawl "Chadar" is constantly touching the wheel of bike. It can cause accident. So that guy accelerates his car and tells them about the possibility of accident. This is something he is not being rewarded but he does for the welfare of society. These are actually blessed guys of the society.

Some days before, i was reading a spiritual teachings article, and i was astonished to see the importance such small things in our life. These people who are doing these small things without any reward or even with out any expectation of reward, are doing much more for the society. God is so much pleased by these small acts that it showers it's blessings on the society just due to these people.

All religions, all spiritual organizations and all sufi teachings are full of the importance and reward of these small things for the welfare of society. When ever you visit some sufi, a spiritual teacher, he will tell you rather start your training with very small things. The Dargah Culture of east is the best example and it must be called the best institution working for the welfare of the society.

So being in a society and especially for Pakistan, we have to find such people, admire them and copy their behavior. This can take us to heavens, believe me.

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Making Your Relationship Last

Making your relationship last can be done, you will have your good times and bad times, but if you both want this to work then it will. The thing is, that both of you have to want it to work, and be committed to making it work, it won't happen if there is just one of you making all the running, you are in this together, for better or for worse.

The problem is, what happens if your partner is not yet ready to commit to the long-term? It could be the case that your partner loves you dearly, but that they still need to work through and understand their feelings for you. What would you do in that situation? If you really love them you need to accept the stage that they are at, and concentrate on building the best relationship that you can. If you want to make your relationship last then you have to work together, you cannot have just one of you deciding what happens, you have to be together because both of you want to be together.

In order for your relationship to stand a chance, you need some common ground between you, something that already gives you a connection. You could come from the same neighbourhood, you could share similar hobbies or interests, or whatever, but if you have something in common with your partner then you have a far greater chance of being able to develop your relationship. Opposites do attract, but if you share nothing with your partner then your relationship has less chance of surviving.

One way of moving forward through the years is to have major relationship goals. For example you want to go on vacation to..., you want to buy a house in a certain neighbourhood, or it could be when you want to have children. If you have joint goals that you have to work together to achieve then it will bring your closer together.

Do you each and every day let your partner know that you love them, know that you care. They are not mind readers, and no matter what you think, unless you tell them they will never know. Give them a hug, a kiss, or why not go wild and do both, and tell them that you love them. It will mean a lot to them, as you will realise when they do it to you..

The two of you are the both important parts of your relationship, without you it does not exist. You will still be your parents children but as a family unit you have to put each other first. Your relationship has to go forward based on what the two of you want, and not what anyone from outside your relationship wants.

You are two (obviously) very different individuals with different histories, backgrounds, wants and needs. At some point your wants and needs are going to clash and then you could have problems. Arguments are a natural part of a healthy relationship, but how you go forward depends on how you can deal with your arguments.

You have no chance of making your relationship last if you cannot fight fair. At various points in your relationship you are going to have disagreements and arguments. No matter how perfect the relationship, they will argue at some point. If anything, it would be unhealthy of you not to argue. Arguing can help to clear the air and highlight issues that need dealing with. If you shout and scream at each other, if you play the blame game, or if you are just looking to score points of your partner then you achieve nothing, your issues remain unresolved, resentment builds and it could destroy your relationship. You need to be calm and rational when you talk things through, you need to be able to focus on your issues and not get distracted, and you need to be able to reach a solution that you are both happy with. Use arguments as a way to identify problems and in working through them to come closer together.

When you were single, all of your decisions were based around what was best for you, this won't work if you hope to make your relationship last. What is a normal way of life for someone single becomes selfishness when you are a couple. This doesn't mean that what you want is of no account, you just have to take your partner into account when making decisions.

Given that you be together for a long time to come, there are two important things that you need to do to help in making your relationship last. You've got to enjoy your time together, have fun, open up the romantic and have some fun. Which is fine, so long as you are friends. Doing things that you both enjoy, finding new experiences, building up a store of shared memories and experiences will bring you closer together. You have to spend quality time together, or where's the point. Not spending time together can make your relationship tired and stale, because you have nothing to look forward to. You are never to old to date, you are never to old to have fun, you are never to live life.

Being each others best friend will see you through the good times and the bad. You can trust your best friend, you can open yourself up to them, and whatever troubles your friendship faces you know that your friendship will always remain intact.

You need to share each others lives. You need to know your partners wants and needs, their likes and dislikes, you need to know when they need your help and support. You have to be strong enough to face all the challenges that life throws at you and come through them, together. This all comes about through communication. Without communication you have nothing. Plain simple talking together and sharing yourself with your partner binds the both of you together, it helps you to deal with problems and to plan for the future, it also gives you a chance to catch up on all the gossip. If you never really talk in your relationship, how boring and existence would that be?

Making your relationship last can be achieved by working together as a partnership. You have to be with each other because you want to be, and you can only take your relationship forward because it is something that you both want. You have to want to do things for your partner to make them happy, simple things that come from the heart are best because they come straight from you, and as such they mean something. You both have to work for the good of the relationship and when problems occur you need to deal with them as adults, and in a way that makes you both happy. Be the very best of friends, show your partner that you care for them, strive to create the very best relationship that you can, make the most out of your time together, have fun, and if you do all those things then you will make your relationship last.

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Keeping a Relationship to Stay Strong

Have you ever asked someone how to keep a relationship going strong? I guess that you would ask that question to someone else, and in that case your relationship towards your partner might be on the rocks.

When you are with someone for a quite long time most likely you're in a comfort zone to speak about that matter

Just put it this way, if you know that your girlfriend or your spouse is feeling down due to the fact that she had a stressful day at work, then do something for her that will brighten up her stressful day. One of the things I notice is that if you always surprise your partner, whether it's just for little things like flowers sent to work or just a simple surprise dinner, this will help brighten up her day.

Now put this in to your intellect that this also goes to cheer up a boyfriend or a husband as well. Think of anything nicer to do for him, something simple out of the ordinary things that are much better.

Make the effort to do nice things for each other, then both of you knows that you're always thinking of each other. It would be fun to look forward to it's because it's a mystery on what's going to happen next. I'm not saying that you do this thing more often but on the other hands it is better not to let things go too long without doing anything at all.

Timing is all that matters.

If you don't try new things then you're going to be trapped in a rut which eventually catches up with you and I believe you don't want that to happen with you.

Always keep his in mind that in relationship things can't go well most of the time, that's not the way life goes.

I can make suggestions to you but I afraid that I may not still give you the answer that you were looking for I just hope that at least I have given you a place to start. If you both know each other very well then you'll know what to do for each other and case not then there are always other ways to sort things out.

Take not, if ever you got your self up to this point and you're still not certain on what to do give your man a chance and have time to listen on what he has to say. He may be a little foolish when he talks but he makes a lot of sense and I'm certainly confident hell makes you feel better.

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Overcoming Commitment Phobia - Top 5 Ways to Overcome Commitment Phobia

Overcoming commitment phobia is one great way to be relieved of a strange feeling that keeps you hanging on a situation that doesn't promote growth and interpersonal relationship.

The issues of commitment

As strange as the fear is, at some point we are happy that in our lived we have found someone we believe we will be sticking forever until the end. However, when we think of the changes, anxiety comes near to us, and would even ask ourselves, "Is it really the best decision we can make or is there someone better out there?" That is one sign of becoming fearful with commitment.

Fear of commitment or commitment phobia is a fear of going out from being single to engaging in a long term relationship. The issue with this kind of fear is very hard to resolve. People with these kinds of fear are so much scared of the lifetime dedication to a ONE person. Sometimes, the fear is not just brought about without known cause, the negative past experiences in a relationship may caused the fear, or from the books and experiences from significant others can also contribute to this fear. Financial consequences could also be one issue lead to such fear. Whichever reasons there are, it always boil down to one thing: the inability of the person to get involved in a relationship where there is expression of love, intimacy, trust, respect, etc. it is a dread for them to share some of those with others, and fear making promises. These fear involved relationships among family, friends and lover.

The Pros and Cons

Living with this kind of fear can prevent you from being able to build meaningful relationship with someone from the opposite sex. Remember, we are all humans and we are bound to interact, to socialize and to get involved with someone despite differences. So, any form of fear of commitment can give you a LONELY AND BORING LIFE. Although you want to escape the idea of financial strains from getting into the relationship, or to infidelity and other relationship problems, being in a relationship is one of the wonderful experiences you can ever have. You see, many of you can never get that wonderful experience because you are afraid to commit.

Overcoming Commitment Phobia

Even if we are constantly fearful about anything that can happen in the relationship, there are ways on how to overcome it. Even if it can be a long and very difficult task, learning the hard way on overcoming the fear is well worth the effort.

1. The first thing you need to do is WRITE all your thoughts about your FEAR. Take a look at what has happened in the past to create the present situation, the present you. When you see on a note all about your present you just as the way you are, it can provide HELP as to have a real view of what is really happening in yourself. It can offer clues as well on HOW are you going to change it.

2. Work out your fear. Think clearly about it. How is it affecting your life? Find out the main reason for this fear? Is there someone involved in the past that made you feel this way? Knowing the contributory factors of such FEAR will help you BIG TIME in overcoming it.

3. Take support from OTHERS. It will not hurt you when ask for support from friends, families or from a professional. It's good to seek support when you really want to commit but fear stops you. Asking for help and support will get rid all your worries and fears as you enter into the relationship. Really, it can do wonders. You will be given the chance to find out personally what a wonderful experience to be in a relationship as you will be learning from other's experience, and their success stories of conversion from a commitment phobic to non-commitment phobic person.

4. Never dare enter into a relationship with the desire to overcome the FEAR. Taking risk at this moment will not help. You will be worsening the case especially when you failed. You will get hurt and so as the person involved.

5. With your friends who have been into a relationship for so long or even to your parents and grandparents, learn from them. Ask them on how they have stood through the test of time despite the trials that come on their way. Ask them the feeling of being together for so many years and ask tips of what are the ways they did to solve the problems such as financial, infidelity, priorities, etc. With these simple questions and the answers you get form them are very helpful to make you realize that being committed into the relationship is a wonderful experience with ups and downs, tears and laughter.

Overcoming commitment phobia is indeed hard but taking all the steps above can give you a clear view of what is COMMITMENT all about. It's not just about infidelity, problems, misunderstandings, etc. This also about savoring the feeling that you have someone to be with who will never fail to remind you that you are loved and cared. For people who have fear of commitment, think always of the BRIGHTER SIDE and you will be able to slowly build meaningful relationship with friends, family and most of all with someone you can be with for the rest of your life.

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Signs of a Commitment Phobic Man - How to Know if He'll Ever Be Serious About You

Your boyfriend isn't as thrilled with the prospect of marriage as you are. It's disheartening when you start talking about marriage and he starts to sweat and look uncomfortable. Perhaps you've asked him about it and he's told you that he just doesn't feel ready for such a serious commitment yet or he feels he's too young to even think about settling down. You feel at a loss because you're unsure of when things may change and he might decide that being with you in the long term is what he truly wants. If you're starting to question whether his aversion to the idea of marriage is just a case of cold feet or more, there's a way to tell. There are some signs of a commitment phobic man that will allow you to gain some insight into whether your man is ever going to pop that all important question so you can become his wife.

One of the signs of a commitment phobic man that is glaringly obvious is he'll change the subject the moment you even mention anything more serious than dating. This includes situations in which you may be telling your guy that a friend or co-worker is getting married. He doesn't want to know about it and he makes that very clear. He'll start talking about something completely unrelated once you point out that an engagement took place or someone is planning a wedding. You can't miss this as he'll be very uncomfortable whenever the subject of commitment pops up.

Another of the signs your guy may be afraid of commitment is his inability to make any long term plans with you. These types of men are the ones who don't want to sign a lease on an apartment and have absolutely no interest in buying a home or starting a retirement savings account. They live in the moment and will never suggest that the two of you go on vacation a few months from now. A man who is fearful of commitment will also shy away from the subject of children and he'll disagree if anyone ever tells him that he'd be a great father.

He may also be a bit reckless with his finances. Although it may seem a stretch to try and associate a man's financial habits with his desire to commit, they do go hand-in-hand. A man who craves a commitment will be focused on planning for the future of his family. On the other hand, a man who doesn't want to get married will only think of himself and will tend to spend his money as quickly as he earns it. Sadly, if you're with a man who doesn't have any real assets to his name that probably means he's not going to pop the question anytime soon.

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Why Doesn't a Man Want to Commit When He Knows He Has a Good Thing Going?

Why doesn't a man want to commit when he knows he has a good thing going? That's the question you're longing for an answer to, isn't it? You're one of those women who suddenly come to the realization that your guy isn't in any rush to commit to you. Why should he? He truly does have everything he wants and right now he sees no reason to change a thing. You're devoted to him and you've made that crystal clear to him. But you're frustrated because you do want more and now you wonder if it's something you'll ever get from him.

There's really one main answer the question of why men don't want to commit when things are going well in the relationship. They just don't want to put the effort in to take things to the next level. To them the relationship is satisfying all of their needs. They feel fulfilled emotionally and physically and they know that the woman they're involved with isn't going anywhere. To a man like this commitment is the furthest thing from his mind because he doesn't see it as a necessary part of the equation.

Many men see commitment as nothing more than a way to damage a great relationship. They envision the dynamic of the relationship changing dramatically if they promise their girlfriend an engagement and then a wedding. They feel they have to give up the life they have in order to fulfill the role of husband and future father. These men are quite comfortable living as a boyfriend endlessly, much to the annoyance of the women they've involved with.

If your boyfriend seems more than content with having you as his devoted and adoring girlfriend and you're not finding that satisfying anymore, you have options. If you don't do anything, you should expect the relationship to continue on the same course it is now. That means that your boyfriend will happily enjoy all the fruits of his connection with you while you grit your teeth and cringe hoping that one day he'll suddenly decide marriage is for him.

You don't have to end the relationship but you can change it. You can stop playing the part of his wife if you're never going to officially be his wife. In other words, start living more like the single woman you are. Go out with your friends, have fun and pursue your own independent and individual dreams. Show your boyfriend that the good thing he has going isn't secure or guaranteed at all. Rocking the boat in this way may be enough to get him to realize that a commitment could enrich both of your lives.

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The Value Of A Soulmate

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for these people who rekindle the inner spirit. So says Albert Schweitzer.

I am saying this from the depths of my heart. I have known loneliness, I have felt emptiness. It has happened to me in my highest and lowest moments. I look to fine someone, only to see no one. It just like Robinson Crusoe reincarnated, but this time in midst of smiling creatures and chattering mouths. Lots of automatic "good days'' and ''hi's''. More like tantrums loosing free from the tongue, unattached to real feelings and meaning.

YOU NEED SOMEONE, not you, someone else; we all do. The easiest way to madness is monotonous loneliness. The first stage of madness is an inner realisation of separation from the world. Where everyone seems a mile away from your inner convictions or worse still your longtime evaluation of your person. Madness begins. This is even worse when in this condition, you deny the feeling, or should I say a time-bomb waiting to explode in your lonesome moments. A truth remains there is a void in our hearts for that someone else.

A wife, husband, friend, lover.....? None of them, this is a kind of solemn relationship with another. A mutual marriage of the whole faculties of both parties alone. Where both drop all inordinate attachment to self and any single inclination, safe the sustenance of the relationship. To them nothing else matters.

I think finding this one is the deepest wish of every feeling one. To those searching, the object of your search is real, keep at it. Those that possess this gift of the unique union of hearts, lose it for nothing else, value it and treasure it with your life.

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Do You Speak Your Partner's Love Language?

The last article I wrote discussed the phrase the saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you" and how it's something I hear a fair bit whilst couples counselling in Manchester. I talked about how it's a pretty normal feeling and not an indication that you should chuck your current partner and go find a new one. In this article I am going to discuss one way of creating a more conscious relationship with your partner so you can realise deep love.

Speaking each others love language.

One way I show my partner I love and care for her is by cooking. For me, the act of taking care of her in this way is one way of saying "I love you". But there's a problem with this. I see the plate of food as an overture of my affection and she sees lasagne. I'm not speaking her love language. We all have love buttons that when pressed give us that feeling of being loved. It's important for us to tell our partner what they are.

There is a small hurdle to get over but it's easily crossed. This hurdle takes the form of "I shouldn't need to tell you how to show love to me, if you loved me you would know". Now I'm pretty sure that there are very few people on this planet that have the ability to mind read. Why would we expect our partners to know every way in which we feel loved? It goes back to that old chestnut of asking for what you want, a skill so simple and so underused it's almost criminal! Just because your partner can't guess your love language it doesn't mean they love you any less, it just means they're human.

So sit down with your partner and have a discussion about what you both need to feel loved. It may be simple things like a cup of tea, a bunch of flowers now and again or a foot rub. Maybe it will involve events like weekends away or meals out. It could even be a hug when you first meet up after a busy day or a text here and there describing your loving feelings towards your partner.

By carrying out these behaviours in a conscious way, you and your partner will be pressing each others love buttons. The connection between you will deepen and grow resulting in that "in love" feeling returning in a more secure, contented way.

Give it a go and come back to this article and comment. What did you do and did it work?

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Please Help Me Learn How To Save My Relationship

Is your marriage on the verge of getting ruined? Or is it that you want your relationship to be back on track? Or do you want your relationship to be better than ever before? If you fall into any of the above categories, then you are in the right place. If you are wondering of how I save my relationship, just follow the steps which are discussed below and reignite the flame of your relationship.

� Analyze and pin point the issue. It is important to identify what exactly went wrong while try to fix a relationship. This needs to be followed up having a discussion with your partner to understand what the source of disturbance for them is. Each issue needs to be talked about and settled one at a time. More often than not a change in attitude is essential. This is because no person wants to communicate and live with someone who is greedy, angry, insecure and jealous. Thus it is crucial to work on behavioral aspects, which would in turn result in building confidence.

� Listen to what your partner has in their mind. In fact any problem can be solved from the root if both hear each other out without having any bias and opinion. Interruptions would lead to one's chain of thoughts being broken. In fact you may actually have no idea of how your partner feels about the relationship or certain issues about the same. Thus sharing is required and remembering that communication is a two way channel is an important task too. Thus when your partner talks, you need to listen and respect him or her. The same holds good for the other person as well. Listening would help you appreciate and learn your partner's point of view as well.

� Accept responsibility and apologize. It is vital to accept mistakes and apologize. Admitting a mistake does not make you small, and thus being defensive and playing the blame game is never a good idea. You should try to understand that in an argument no one benefits or wins. Its just makes you and your partner turn bitter and go further apart. Thus throw in some suggestions such that the eventual result is a win win situation. Moreover, compromising and forgiving becomes a natural element when you are working on save my relationship.

� You need to understand and respect your partner's feelings and values. In the event of misunderstandings, it is vital to share your feelings. This would help you and partner in opening up to each other.

� Trust is an integral part of the relationship. Thus once the trust is built, it is the key to a healthy relationship. Apart from that keying in core features like love, affection, care, and warmth in the relationship are a must for it to be alive.

These are certain principles which would help you in your pursuit of - save my relationship and get love reeling back in your life! Get going right away!

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Afraid He's Never Going to Marry You?

It is awful when you have the feelings of being uncertain about a man's love and commitment. I understand exactly how this feels.

Fear and panic over his apparent lack of commitment can leave you completely frustrated and at your wits end.

Feeling like your back is up against the wall when you can have all of the love you know you deserve because your man isn't stepping up to give you the attention, security and commitment you deserve can create a sense of low self-worth. You may begin feeling that there is something is wrong with you. Maybe you are wondering what can you do to make your man commit and take your relationship to the next level.

What I'd like to share with you today is that talking to your man about giving you a deeper commitment won't work. Your man won't magically turn around because you pour out your feelings to him. In fact, you may already tried this and wonder why he's not responding to you the way you'd like.

This is because he won't make a deeper commitment to you or marry you based on how long you've been together or that he's exclusive with you. In order for your man to make a commitment, he has to feel it in his gut. Has to know beyond a shadow of doubt that you truly are the one for him. Feelings won't bring him there but appealing to his emotional mind will.

If you don't understand how to appeal to his emotional mind, it will be very difficult for you to win him over and have a deeper commitment. You can get him to commit when you get inside his emotional mind.

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Ways To Know He Loves You

Stop plucking the petals off the daisy; it will never give you the real answers. Looking for Mr. Right is never easy, but one doesn't really need special powers to know if your man is in love with you or not. And plucking petals won't tell you if he is in love with you or not either, but paying attention to the telltale signs will. So pay attention and look out for signs that he loves you.

* One of the signs he loves you is he becomes interested with your life. The cardinal rule to remember is, men who care, will care. If he's too self- absorbed and never seem to wonder or question anything about how you are, then forget about it. A man who loves you will take time to ask about your life and how he can make it better for you.

* He shares your pastime is another sign he loves you. When a man is in love, connection becomes important. A man who is head over heels in love with you will share your favorite pastime just to be with you.

* Your thoughts and opinions matter to him. A man who is in love has a high regard with the woman he loves. So if he asks you for your opinion before deciding anything doesn't mean that he has no backbone, he's making you a vital part of his life.

* He is nice to your friends.Even if you know that he doesn't like noisy, gossipy women, but still he tries to be kind and pleasing to your noisy, gossipy best friend. It's his way of showing that he cares for the people you care about. And he wants to please you and make you happy.

* He doesn't back out if you want him to meet your family. It may make him nervous and may hesitate for a while, but in the end he'll be happy to meet them and honored that you decided to introduce him to your family.

* He wants you to meet his family. If he asked you to meet his family, then it's one indication that he loves you. This is one way of telling you that he wants you to be a part of his life.

* He will say so. You know he loves you, when he says he does. You know he is sincere by the way he looks at you, by the way he touches you, and by how he says it. Pay attention to your man and you will know how deep his love is for you.

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Make a Man Commit - Ways That Will Make Him Marry You

Have you been in a relationship that almost took years already? Do you find it hard to make a man commit? Are you thinking of ways on how to make him marry you? Marriage is a big deal. If you get tied without considering so many things, then your marriage might end up broken. But if you are sure enough that the one you sleep with every night is indeed the right person for you, the one that will complete you, and the one destined for you. But if it's just an impulse, might as well take more time.

If you're certain with the man you are with, then here are some ways to make a man commit.

Love yourself.

You must learn to value yourself. Make a man commit without sacrificing your own happiness. If you love him more than you do for yourself, then there will be no way that pleasure will be even on both parties. Learn how to balance things. Commitment doesn't mean that you have to pretend to be someone else and suffer at your own expense. You can be both happy and contented if the love for each other is not too much.

Don't be too paranoid.

Sometimes, you just get paranoid of the fact that he might leave you sooner or later that results you to force and make a man commit. This is indeed an unhealthy way to prolong a relationship. Give him enough time to reflect. Let him do the things he enjoys most while he's still free and out of big and full responsibilities. Do not be a control freak for this will only push him farther away from you. Support him with all your heart and let him know that you are happy with what he does. This will make him realize that you are really concerned about his happiness and at this point of time he will certainly realize how important you are in his life and that he doesn't want to lose you in any way.

Don't play the role of a drama queen.

Men are tired of drama. We all know that they are tough and can handle every situation that comes along their way. If you'll push him to marry you every single day of his life while bursting into tears and make an all-day drama, then most probably he will get enough of everything including you. This you do not want to happen for sure.

Talk about the future.

You can make a man commit by talking about your future in a good way. There is nothing that could be settled by a good conversation. Talk about plans for the future. Tell him how you really feel about this, and how much you really want it soon. You may do it without even pressuring him in any way. Communication is a way to a better understanding. If you'll let him know about your thoughts and vice versa, then you'll both get answers to your questions.

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He Says He'll Never Marry Me! How to Change His Mind

"He says he'll never marry me, now what?" It's a question women just like you are asking. You never imagined that you'd be in a relationship with a man you absolutely adore who just won't marry you. What does that mean for your future? Are you going to have to make a choice between what you want and staying with him? It's frustrating and it's disheartening. To know that your guy won't make a commitment like that to you can also damage your self esteem. Before you allow his decision to impact your life and your confidence even more than it already has, do something now to change things. If you want a commitment from him and he's not offering it, it's up to you to get it.

Since he says he'll never marry you, you have to change the dynamic of the relationship. Typically men dig their heels in on the issue of commitment when the relationship is already giving them everything they need. You two may live together already and in that case you're playing the dutiful wife's role already. Or maybe you don't reside in the same house but you spend enough time together that he knows that he can rely on you to tend to his every need. If you've been doing this, give yourself a talking to. You have to change and it needs to happen now. You can't be his life partner without the commitment that you want in place.

Start pulling back just a bit. You can do this in very subtle ways that will have a tremendous impact on him. For instance, if you were always available to see him every night, make some other plans. Hang out with your friends or have dinner with your sibling. Even spending some time with people from work instead of your guy sends a message to him that you're not always going to be right there for him.

You also must make your own decisions. It's normal for a couple in a relationship to look to each other for guidance. That's thoughtful and it's suggestive of a bond. However, if your guy is taking you for granted and says he'll never marry you, don't keep asking for his opinion on every decision you need to make. Be more independent and tell him of your decision after you've made it. This one change in how you deal with him can have a dramatic impact on him as it suggests to him that you're thinking more as an independent woman than someone in a relationship.

Any small change you can make that shows that you're feeling less like his partner and more like yourself will help you get what you want. Sometimes taking yourself out of the equation just a bit can show him that marriage is something he should be considering if losing you completely is the alternative.

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No Money Can Buy Happiness

Happiness is the way to travel. I have said that again and again. It is my personal dogma. No external success can assure inner happiness and contentment. Happiness comes from within. Happiness is felt when you share your love with others. This may sound so absurd, but it is true: happiness is a two way street. You give love, you receive love in return.

Now does giving really make us happy? If we give wholeheartedly, yes it does. A lot of inspirational writers have stated that in the past. That in giving, there is joy. Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Jack Canfield, Seth Godin, and many others have professed their belief that in love and giving comes true honest-to-goodness happiness. They have experienced it. They breath it.

No amount of money or success can guarantee true happiness but in giving and loving your fellowmen. The Bible says it so. How many bestselling books contain the message about the joys of giving? I have read so many stories about rich people committing suicide because of loneliness and despair, and I kept wondering why. Isn't money enough to make them happy? Apparently not.

Like I said, success doesn't guarantee a happy life. It may guarantee a good life, but not a happy one. Happiness comes from within. If you feel happy, then you are. If you feel real happiness, it will show: good health, pleasant smile, happy heart. And the only surest way to happiness is by giving happiness to others. Eleanor Roosevelt was quoted once that "Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give." Giving really does bring real joy. You feel glad that you are able to help. You will have a sense of power or control. You no longer worry about yourself, your nervousness and panics gone, because you are not thinking about yourself anymore. You think about others. And that can be such a happy thought.

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How to Make Him Want to Commit to a Relationship With You

As you already know, men are not inclined to want to make that commitment to a relationship as easy as women are. Some say it is a matter of genetic programming, others say it's just the way it is, it really doesn't matter. What matters is, you want to be able to make a man feel like he really wants to commit to you and you want to feel that incredible feeling that comes with having a committed relationship.

How can you make him feel that way so that he thinks of you as being a woman he wants to share his life with, a woman he wants to come home to?

Here are some tips on how to make him want to commit to a relationship with you that will make things a lot easier on you:

1. Men do not like to feel as though they are being forced into a situation.

If you give him the vibe or the impression that you are trying to force him into it, his natural reaction and response is going to be to resist that force. Which of course, will mean that he starts to resist and pull away from you. That's the opposite of what you want to happen, so don't try and make it happen with too much effort. If done right, you can make him feel like it is his decision to want that commitment and you can secretly know that you have helped him along.

2. To get him to commit to you, he has to feel that he may lose you at some point.

If your man knows that he has you and that no matter what, you are not going anywhere any time soon, what is the compelling reason that will make him want to commit to you? Answer: There is none. While you don't want to make any threats of leaving him or anything like that, you do want to give him the impression that you are not his forever by default.

3. When he knows that you really are the best match for him, he will want you even more.

One of the great things about not being too controlling or jealous of a woman is, you give your man the opportunity to realize that you really are the best match up for him. If you try to control him or come across as being the jealous kind of woman, he's going to start to get the feeling that maybe you are not the one. That is when he is much more likely to want to stray from the relationship or to keep his "freedom."

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Staying Committed in a Relationship - A Scorecard You Can Follow

Don't be scared.

Commitment does not mean you are bound to someone for the rest of your life. So what does commitment mean.

It means three things;

1. Consistent values

2. Consistent behavior

3. Unconditional support

So let us examine commitment. Here is a quiz. Each incident has a score of 10. If you pass, you are committed, if not, you are not committed. For the sake of this example, let us call the person you are committed to, "A". That Simple!

1. CONSISTENT VALUES

You find out that A is a liar and substantially cheats on his/her taxes. Which do you choose:

a) counsel with A

b) drop A from your circle of committed friends

c) counsel with A and lay out a plan by which A's value becomes consistent with yours (you do not lie)

2. CONSISTENT BEHAVIOR

You find out A is cheating on his/her spouse. Which do you choose:

a) counsel with A

b) tell A's spouse

c) Advise both A and his/spouse get into therapy

3. UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT

A is drunk and caught in a DUI. He/she calls requests bail money.

You:

a) provide bail money, no questions asked

b) provide bail money on the condition that A gets into rehab and follow up consistently

c) pretend you did not get the call

d) introduce a good lawyer

The correct answers are:

Consistent Values: c), Consistent Behavior: c), Unconditional Support: b)

You see, people mistake commitment as just support. If you keep supporting bad attributes in the ones you love, neither the relationship, nor the person you are attached to, will get better. So you have to practice tough love.

Good luck

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A Special Valentine for My Wife!

I always dread the approach of Valentine's Day. The reason? I face the same impossible task every year: to find the "perfect" Valentine's Day card for my wife-one with the precise words to express my true feelings for her! Up until now, I have failed miserably. And, I think most guys will relate to what I go through every year: the rather gloomy proposition of studying 100 Valentine's Day cards at a Hallmark store, and finding that none are quite right! Yes, I know that most guys-me included-will "settle" for buying flowers, candy and dinner; then, the quality of the card won't matter quite so much. Still, I wanted to find that "perfect" card for my wife, and I resolutely believed that this was the year I'd finally do it! In that regard, I have long believed that life has a way of giving you what you truly want-and yesterday I got the opportunity to prove it.

As I was checking my email, I came across one that advertised a Valentine's Day poetry contest! I became intrigued, because this topic closely coincided with my recent dominant thoughts. I fleetingly considered entering the contest, then quickly dismissed the thought. How could I ever hope to compete in a poetry contest, when I had never written a poem in my entire life? I left the matter alone, and went about my day. I eventually retired for the evening, without giving it a second thought.

Strangely, I couldn't sleep at all; tossing, turning, mind irritatingly active. What time I actually fell asleep, I'll never know. But I do remember that I woke up at exactly 1:38AM! I was wide awake, and had some strange rhyming words reverberating in my head. Poetry! I raced to the computer, and dashed off the following lines in less than two minutes. I named it: Be My Valentine.

Love so wide, love so deep,

Love that you can always keep;

Love so gentle, love all mine,

Be my little Valentine.

Always with me, thick and thin,

Always helping me to win;

Always caring, so refined,

Be my little Valentine.

Love amazing, love sublime,

Love to stand the test of time;

Love increasing, hearts entwined,

Always be my Valentine!

I'm going to submit this poem to the contest, with no expectations; and I'll never write about the outcome. But, I did get exactly what I wanted: I finally had the words to express my true feelings for my wife, my soul mate! This poem will always be for my wife Cindy. But, if any of you are "stuck" with no good Valentine's Day card, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you copied the words-for the love of your life! Happy Valentine's Day to all!

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How to Tell Your Girlfriend to Stop Pressuring You to Commit

You have got a girlfriend and you are happy, you are comfortable being with her, and you have had some great times together, life is good. Your only problem is that she wants more. She has decided that the relationship is ready to move to the next level and she wants you to commit, you on the other hand are not ready to commit. It has become a battle of wills, on the one side with have your girlfriend, that steely glint in her eye says she is going to make you commit, and then we have your good self who is responding to the pressure by being adamant that you won't. Before it drive the two of you apart, you need to work out how to tell your girlfriend to stop pressuring you to commit.

Have you been together long enough to know each other. It's going to take at least a year to really get to know each other, and to see in what direction your feelings are taking you. Don't react to her when she is pressuring you to commit, that will just exacerbate the situation. It is also vital that you do not give in to her pressure! If and when you take the next step forward it has to be because it is something that you want to do, not something that you have been nagged into.

Why is she pressuring you to commit, what has triggered this desire? Does the problem lie in the fact that you two haven't really been properly communicating with each other? It could be that you have been together a long time, and it is only natural to want to take the relationship forward. Has she been dropping subtle hints that completely passed you by, and so the only weapon that she thinks that she has left is to pressure you to commit. Does she actually know how you feel about? I hope that you are aware that the world will not come to an end if you talk about things like emotions.

Your slowness to respond could also be down to your still being unsure as to your feelings about her. Committing to each other is a big step and you have to be certain that it is the right move for you to make.

Are you scared to commit? Are you scared about losing your freedom, your identity, your independence, and your escape route? It's true that being in a committed relationship means that you have give up certain things but you get a lot more back in return. You will still be you. There is nothing wrong with letting each other go and do their own thing, if anything it will keep your relationship stronger. And okay, if things don't work out then it's a lot more difficult to walk away from each other, but if your in a great relationship, and both of you are committed to making the best relationship that you can, then commitment has got to be worth trying.

Is the reason that your girlfriend is pressuring you to commit is that you are far to comfortable with the way things are? Is it the case that you have all the benefits of commitment but with none of the commitment. If that is the stage that you are at then your relationship is stagnating. Things cannot stay the same forever, to grow and develop they have to move forward. If your girlfriend wants commitment and she's not getting in because you are to lazy, then at some point she will stop wasting her time with you. So if you want her to stay with you then it might be time to take some responsibility in the relationship.

If she is definitely not the one for you, then stop wasting each others time and call it a day.

So, how can you tell your girlfriend to stop pressuring you to commit? Start talking to her again and find out why commitment is so important to her. Let her know how you feel about her, but let her know that you are still working out how you feel about the long-term. If giving her a time frame would help then set enough weeks or months for you to be sure about yourself. If you think that you are ready to go all the way then you can go for a nice long engagement. Your girlfriend gets the commitment that she needs, and you get the time to work through your feelings about her. If you are going to move your relationship forward to the next level, then it can only happen, and it can only work if you do it together.

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You're Scared of Commitment - What Are You So Afraid Of?

You meet someone you like, you find that there is a connection between you and you decide to get to know each other better. As time goes by you learn more about them, you become comfortable being with them, and you have some great times together. Okay so you have your ups and downs, you might even argue once in a while, but that's normal, it's what you expect in a healthy relationship, so no big deal. Then one of you decides that maybe it's time to take your relationship to the next level, at which point the other partner hit's the panic button. You're of commitment, what are you afraid of?

It's possible that you have been hurt in previous relationships, you might have also been unlucky in love and been hurt repeatedly, this kind of thing can leave its mark on you. Relationships are built on trust, and if you have become emotionally involved with people who have repeatedly betrayed your trust, then it becomes very difficult to learn how to trust again. If this is you, then if you ever want to find happiness you need to achieve closure on the past. Just because you have had bad experiences in the past, it doesn't mean that they have to repeat themselves. Talk to your partner about it, after all, it's their job to help you if you have problems. Don't keep problems bottled up inside of you, it will poison your outlook on life. Give your partner a chance to prove themselves.

In our consumer driven society if something is broken we throw it away and get a new one, this attitude seems to have worked its way into relationships. There are far to many people who forget that a relationship takes work and commitment, and as such there is a high divorce rate, and many couples split up with an almost callous disregard for the feelings of their partner. I can understand that you're scared of commitment if you are scared of being hurt. No-one wants to invest time, effort, and emotion into a relationship only to have it thrown back into their face. The thing about life is that it doesn't stay still, it keeps moving forward, and in order to move forward it means that at some point you have to be prepared to make a leap of faith.

Are you happy with the way your relationship is now? Are you scared about what will happen to your relationship if it moves to the next level? Are you scared risk what you have against something unknown? Our daily experience of life continually changes us, and as you both change then so does your relationship. You are no longer the same people who first met however long ago, and just as you cannot stay the same, neither can your relationship. If your relationship doesn't move forward then it will stagnate, if you want it to grow then you have to let it develop, even if that means moving your relationship to the next stage. If you're scared of commitment it can hold you back, it can hold your relationship back, which could stop you from finding lasting happiness.

It could be that you're scared of commitment because you are scared about losing your freedom and identity. Admittedly when 2 become 1 and all that you do give up a lot, but you get back a whole lot more. You no longer have the ability to make decisions solely based on what is best for you, and if things go wrong then it can be a lot more difficult to part company. In a healthy relationship you both need to have you own space so that you can see your own friends, pursue your own interests, your individuality is what makes you, you, it's what made your partner fall in love with you, it's what makes you interesting. If you were to lose your identity it would mean that you had become totally reliant on your partner to fulfill your wants and needs, why would any of you want to let that happen? Be yourself, and love your partner for who you are, even if you move your relationship to the next level you still remain you, and the same goes for your partner.

If you're scared of commitment, what are you afraid of? You might have had bad experiences in the past but that doesn't mean that you will not find happiness. If you have a fear of the unknown, then you have a fear of life. The past has happened and there is nothing that you can do to change that, the future is an empty book just waiting to be written. You have to have faith in yourselves, there are times when you have to take things on trust and move forward accordingly. Relationships are based on trust, not just trust in your partner but being able to trust in yourself. If your partner has done nothing to merit your suspicion then you have to be able to trust them, if you have been hurt in the past this can be difficult, but you have to choose to trust. As a couple you will probably have your arguments, you might possibly inadvertently hurt each other, things like that are not unique to you, that's life, it happens to everyone. If you have problems then talk to your partner, if you are not ready for commitment then talk to your partner. If you love and care for your partner and you want to share their lives, then you need to work out a way that you can move forward, together.

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What to Do About a Guy Who Doesn't Want to Commit

It must be very frustrating! You find a guy that you fall in love with, you invest heavily emotionally in the relationship, you reach the point where you think that the relationship is ready to move on to the next level, but can you move on, NO, and why? Because your guy doesn't want to or is not yet ready to commit. As you want to move forward with your life, here is what to do about a guy who doesn't want to commit.

First of all are you sure that he is the one for you? Have you spent long enough together to discover all his good points, and the bad ones? Is he your best friend? If you end up spending the rest of your life with him, it would help if you like him. Do you feel comfortable together, do you have great times together? Every couple no matter how perfect has its arguments, do your regularly argue, or is it just a once in a while thing which is easily dealt with? Do you have realistic expectations for the relationship and how it can move forward? Or do you have a vision of the relationship, and everything has to go into that vision whether it likes it or not? And just out of interest, why do you want to marry a guy who doesn't want to commit?

You need to be able to talk to him about why he doesn't want to commit, and if he is genuine with you then he shouldn't have a problem with that. Tell him how your feel and that you want the relationship to move forward, and actively listen to how he responds. Do not try pushing him into commitment as he will probably move in the opposite direction. He needs to be able to realize that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you by himself. If you are going to move this relationship forward then you have to do it together, you cannot have one person deciding the direction, that can only lead to resentment.

If you have a guy who doesn't want to commit, admittedly it could be because he's useless, it could also be the case that he is still trying to understand his feelings for you. Probably the worst thing that you could do is to try to make him jealous by flirting with other guys. A relationship is built on trust, if you want to take things forward then you are saying that he is the only one for you, if he sees you flirting with other guys then it will destroy the trust, he will doubt your commitment and he will question just how serious you are to the relationship, then he'll probably walk away thinking what a lucky escape, I was right not to commit.

Some are tempted to make ultimatum's and give their boyfriend a time limit. Does anyone respond positively to ultimatum's? If you make an ultimatum then you had better be prepared for your relationship to end.

If your guy doesn't want to commit then you need to work out the reasons behind it. He could have genuine concerns about commitment. If you have a fantastic relationship then he might be scared of losing what you have. If he has seen far to many committed relationships break up then he might be wondering that it could happen to you. Does he come from a broken home, if he does then he might not view commitment with any great affection. Is he carrying baggage from previous relationships which makes it difficult for him to move forward. Until you know where the problem lies then it is difficult to come up with a strategy to deal with it.

When you find out what the problem is, then you need to talk it through with him, work out how you can help him, and together work out a way how to bring your relationship forward. If you have a relationship that works then commitment is the next natural step forward, but you have to take it together.

There is also the chance that your guy who doesn't want to commit is a no good, useless time waster that you are better without. Does he get all the benefits of a committed relationship but without the commitment? If he is comfy where he is then he could be asking himself why change, as it is he has all the benefits and he has an escape route if things don't work out. Is your guy actually doing anything to make the relationship work or is it take, take, take. A relationship is a coming together of two equal partners, with equal responsibilities for making the relationship work. If he is indifferent to the relationship then it brings into question just how serious is his commitment to you. Go by his actions and not what he says! Words are cheap, if he can only talk the talk, then is he worth your wasting your time, effort and emotion on?

So, what about this guy who doesn't want to commit? He might be a waste of space, and that being the case the please don't waste anymore time on him. He might have genuine reasons for not yet being ready to commit, find out what they are and come up with a way to move forward, it would be a shame if you lost out on something special just because you didn't take the time to talk about it. You could always get engaged, just because you get engaged it doesn't mean that you have to get married tomorrow. If you get engaged you get the commitment that you need and he gets the time he needs to work through his feelings. Don't push the pace, work at it together, and if it's meant to be then you will continue to walk through life, together.

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Habits That Can Make You Find The Right Love

Are you one of those men and women who have been single forever, or have been in an in- and- out of relationship since 1990? Well, this year is your year to stop all the tears and find the right love that suits you like a customized gloves. This is the year is your year of love and passion. There will be no more drama, no more hurt. This year would be like Valentine's Day whole year round. So, what are you going to do right to be able to find your Mr. or Ms. Right? Well, all you need to do is to stop your bad habits of making you miss the right love.

Then, do the ones that make you attract the love that you wanted your whole life.

Be with the right friends/ group. This goes without saying that you need to move away from friends that are not really doing your style and going against your good energy. Friends should define you, complement you, and give you that "glow. When you go with friends that go against your vibe, and keep you on your guard, it also keeps potential love away. This is so, because that sense of awkwardness and the negative energy from you for being with the wrong group of people manifests outside and repels true love.

Grow some standards. Know what you want and know what you value, and make this as the basis of your standards. But make sure that these are realistic standards. Having some standards means stopping your habits of one nightstands and hanging out with guys that only makes you feel bad about yourself. The more you spend your time with unworthy guys, the more you lose your chances of finding love.

Pamper yourself inside and out. This means giving yourself the importance it needs. From taking time to have that latest hair cut, to getting a massage and a manicure, to enrolling to the gym, to buying that favourite bag, to not allowing other people step on your toes. Stop selling yourself short. Value yourself by not allowing abuse and degradation pass by you. When you exude that aura that you don't take crap from other people, you will earn that respect and love you deserve.

Love your work, love your job. This is about waking up every day and have that drive and enthusiasm to do that what you are suppose to do with gusto and passion. When you wake up every day with that energy, you are bound to attract the love that you want.

Cleaning up your past. People who move out from their hurtful past and move on from it with optimist is sure to find the love that they are yearning for all their lives. That is because getting over the past rids you of fear, bitterness, and ignorance that tethers you to have the time of your life. The prejudices and biases will all go away once you have learned to embrace your past no matter how painful it is.

Learn to laugh at yourself. This is about not taking yourself too seriously and enjoys life no matter how fierce and unfair it gets sometimes. A person who sees the silver lining is always attractive and never fails to attract the right kind of love.

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How to Get a Man's Deeper Commitment - Make Him Fall Deeper In Love

Have you been experiencing the frustration of not getting what you want from your man? Do you wonder why things are going the way you want and how to change it?

I'm here to help you with that.

In order for you to take a man into a deeper commitment, you have to know how attraction works with men and what doesn't work.

When you are too much into your head space you spend alot of time worrying about how to make it work. You will tend to feel disappointed, panic, fear, or anger. Carrying these kinds of emotions around will work to push a man's energy away from you instead of bringing him closer.

The easiest way to rid yourself from all the fear, doubt, and frustration is to focus on your heart space. You have to begin to think heart to heart in a way where you are exuding all of who you are from deep within you.

After getting in tune with this, you can then flow naturally in how you relate to your man. Getting him to commit deeper will also come from this natural flow.

Start right now by learning how to create the excitement in a man to want more. In order to create this kind of excitement, you have to learn how to tease him. You have to spend time knowing how to become playful and sexy at the same time.

This is how you begin to unleash your sensuality in a way that makes him hungry for more from you. Learn the art of playful teasing and you will learn how to make him fall in love and grip his heart into a deeper commitment.

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Signs You Are Not Ready for a Committed Relationship

If you have a good relationship then there shouldn't be anything to fear as it is the time when your relationship becomes richer and deeper. Assuming that you are right for each other, then commitment is the final stage in the commitment cycle. Unfortunately not everyone in a relationship arrives at the, let's get committed stage, at the same time, which can lead to resentment and misunderstanding. Going into a committed relationship is a big step so it is vital that you do not make that step before you are ready. How do you know if your are ready? Well, here are the signs that you are not ready for a committed relationship.

Probably the most important question that you need to be certain about is, do you love your partner enough to want to share your life with them. Entering into a committed relationship is a big step, so are you certain that your partner is the one for you? You are going to have to change the way that you live, whilst you get more in return than you lose, are you ready to part company with your freedom and the ability to make decisions based on what you want?

Do you have realistic expectations for the relationship? Do you have a shared vision that you will both work towards, or do you have your own ideas that are based more on fantasy than reality?

If you are going into a committed relationship then you have to be committed to your partner and no-one else. If you are still seeing other people or are still interested in seeing others then do not commit. You have to be able to devote the time and energy to build and develop your relationship, you won't be able to do that if you have a string of partners on the go. You partner has to come before anyone, you and your partner are a new family unit, and that takes precedence over friends and family. If you put your friends and family before your partner, then it sends a clear signal not just that you are not ready for a committed relationship, but that you have no respect for your partner.

Are you still carrying baggage around from previous relationships. The past has happened and there is nothing that you can do to change it. You might have had problems and been hurt in the past, but if you want to move forward you have to get closure on your issues. If you cannot get closure then you will never be able to deal with your issues, they will continue to haunt you and might ruin all your attempts to find happiness. Because you have been hurt in the past, it does not mean it will happen again, but until you deal with your past you will continue to have serious trust issues.

You are certainly not ready for a committed relationship if you are unable to share and to compromise. To make a relationship work you both have to be totally committed to building the best possible relationship that you can. This takes time, effort and you have to make sacrifices. Does everything have to be done your own way, do your wants and needs have to come first, is there no room in you for compromise? There is no place in a healthy relationship for selfishness.

Are you psychic? Is your partner psychic? How can they know your feelings for them unless you tell them. If you cannot express yourself to them then you will be unable to connect emotionally, and if you cannot connect emotionally then you do not have a real relationship. If you love your partner then you should be able to tell them how you feel about them, it takes very little effort to say, I love you, but actually doing that can mean a lot. Look at it as a trust issue, if you are unable to open up to your partner are you hiding something, are you keeping secrets? And if you find yourself unable to open up to your partner, are they the one for you, or do you need to explore your feelings more?

Having a committed relationship means being prepared to commit the time to make it work. If you don't have the time then it is unlikely to work, you would just end up as two individuals who happen to live together. No matter how busy you are you have to make the time to be together to share interests, to go on dates, or to just talk. Doing things together is the only way that you can keep your bond intact and your relationship alive. I realize that you both have lives outside of the relationship, you have family, friends, and interests, and it is important that you spend time doing your own thing. There will be times when work commitments take up most of your time, at times like that when time is precious your partner has to come first, everyone else takes second place. If you cannot commit the time, then don't commit.

Only you can say if you are ready to enter into a committed relationship. You need to have the depth of feeling for your partner that will allow you to commit totally to the relationship. Don't let yourself get pressured into committing before you are ready, when you commit it has to be because you know that it is the right thing for you. If you have any doubts or concerns then talk about them with your partner, you might be surprised at just how understanding they are. If you are ready to take that step then go forward together, and work to build the best possible relationship that you can.

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