Why Wouldn't He Propose to Me?

So, you are in a relationship with a man who won't propose to you after several years of being together. Your biological clock is ticking and you are concerned about your future with this man. You are wondering, where this relationship is going and sometimes even whether or not you should stay in it. If you can relate, this article may be for you.

Several years ago I was in a relationship with a guy I thought I was in love with. Though he was far from being my ideal match spiritually, emotionally and intellectually, I went out of my way to make the relationship work. I lost myself in the game of trying to be the perfect woman for him. After a year and a half of being together I was frustrated, not only because he wouldn't propose to me at the time, I was starting to get really scared that he never would. And he never did, thank God! If we were to get married, I am pretty much convinced that we would be going through the messiest divorce of a lifetime by now.

Here are my personal views on marriage - marriage is a sacred agreement between two people to stay committed to one another through their vows. It is not something to be taken lightly and it is not something you have get into based on either biological clock, personal insecurity, religious beliefs, pressure from friends, relatives or any other self-seeking reason. The marriage can only be successful if both individuals are ready and willing to make this kind of commitment, not forced, tricked or manipulated into it. And if at least one of them isn't, this isn't the time and place for judgment. Judgment will only hurt you and your love. Believe me ladies, I know, I was in that place of desperation and I know exactly how it feels. That desperation has clouded my mind to the point that I couldn't even see if he was the right person for me. I was too busy trying to be the right person for him. Why? Because I needed the validation that I was good enough and that there was nothing wrong or unmarriageable about me. But really, was that a good reason to get married? I don't think so.

So I strongly encourage you ladies, if you are stuck in this situation, try to focus on where your relationship is right now in the moment rather than where it is going. Chances are, he may not even be the right person for you. And even if you are absolutely convinced that he is the one, then ask yourself why can't you accept him for who he is - not yet ready marriage. The ironic part is that the only way he can see you as the right one for him and the only way he can really want to marry you (as opposed to giving in) is if you accept him for who he is and let go of your control.