Why Are Men Afraid Of Commitment? How To Overcome His Fear

This question is often asked by women who got dumped by guys whenever their relationships started to get serious.

Yes, men are generally afraid of commitment. For them, it is a situation of no escape where their most important treasure of freedom is given up. The dreaded "C-word" has always been associated with obligation and compromise. In order to avoid commitment, men resort to short-term relationships mostly leaving women brokenhearted.

If a woman loves a man, she has to accept him as he is and deal with his reluctance constructively. But she doesn't have to tolerate his ways. She can patiently and gradually change his perspective in commitment. All a woman has to do is to understand his behaviors so that she can address the problem appropriately. She has to know the reasons behind his actions.

So why are men afraid of commitment? The fear of commitment men have is partially simple prudence. Commitment costs a man a lot. Here are some reasons that women must understand:

1. Pressure to commit. Most women cannot wait to get committed. Women do not understand that men are different, and one difference is that men do not crave commitment, and men do not appreciate being pressured into it. Give them time to prepare themselves.

2. Unprepared. Men must be financially, emotionally, socially or even spiritually ready to settle down.

3. Loss of free time. Obligation comes with commitment. Obligations are work -- for some men, too much work.

4. No more freedom. Men really love to be free to do anything they want. It's being an adult. If they commit themselves to a woman, this freedom will be limited. They will have to ask permission and get approval from their partners. Men are willing to trade their freedom for something of enough value, but the value needs to be clear.

5. Past experiences. Most men who have commitment phobia have gone through a great deal of trauma in the past. They may have a broken family or been victims of abuse. These experiences triggered the development of their phobia. They get anxious about commitment, because a terrible scenario is playing in their minds and they are afraid it will happen again.

6. Fear of losing someone he loves. He may have experienced losing someone he loved, and it hurt him badly. He does not want a similar thing to happen, so he is avoiding commitment not to be hurt the second time around.

7. Sad stories from other men. He may have heard other men tell of terrible relationship experiences and had them seared on his mind. He tries to avoid commitment to avoid getting hurt in the end. He may not even need to hear the stories; he can supply his own. As one man said, "It's not like I've never seen a wife before."

8. Hostages to fortune. He will be responsible for a family, but he will not be in control of the economy, natural disasters, diseases, the government,... Men have killed themselves because they have found themselves unable to protect their families.

9. Seriousness. Men fear commitment because they take it very seriously. I knew a man who before his wedding said, "What's three or four years?" He got divorced three and one-half years later. He wasn't afraid of commitment. Is that what you want?

Men who don't commit need not be avoided and rejected. Their fear of commitment may be a result of bad experiences in the past. They may have practical reasons for delaying commitment. It may in fact be that they take commitment very seriously. They need your help and understanding. You just have to deal with it a positive way. In dealing with a man's fear of commitment, analyze first why the man is afraid to commit, then take measures in addressing the cause to get rid of his fear. It's what he needs. As one man said, "I never knew I was lovable, until I was loved."