How To Take Things Slow In A New Relationship

The one thing many people do when they find their perfect match is to rush things. This seems to be more common for people that have been alone for some time and are just enthusiastic about having a romantic interest or for people that constantly feel as though they need a companion so that they are not alone.

The first thing you will want to do is sit back and have a conversation with yourself about what it is exactly you expect from the relationship. Do you want a short-term relationship, a long-term relationship without getting married for several years or do you want the relationship to result in marriage? Whatever it is, you need to make a decision and if you haven't already discussed this subject with your new partner, you really should as soon as possible.

Sex is the next subject for conversation you will need to have with yourself. You should know that if you are just looking for something short-term then sex early on in the relationship doesn't really seem to matter one way or another but should you want to date someone long term, it is highly recommended that you refrain from having sex for at least a few dates. Sex can often be the one thing to drive a couple apart and end a relationship. A relationship that is first built on emotional attachment has a higher survival rate than relationships that have couples get intimate too quickly. So bottom line is that if you really like someone and care about them, you should refrain from sex until you have a monogamous relationship and when you have had plenty of dates to make for a deeper emotional connection.

The other major concern for sex in a new relationship is contraception. I know you don't need a lecture on practicing safe sex but you really should take preventative measures to not only protect against a surprise pregnancy but also to protect yourself and your new partner from any STDs.

If one of you wants to move the relationship along faster, then this needs to be discussed at an appropriate place and when not under the influence of alcohol or drugs. You should have a clear and sound mind for this discussion because you will need to find out if both you and your significant other are on the same page. If not, you need to decide whether this relationship needs to end.

If you feel a strong bond with your new partner you should really take your time just dating before rushing into a marriage. I know that there are plenty of people out there that will say they married their significant other after only knowing one another for a few weeks or even a month or two. For every one of those couples you hear that are still together after a shotgun romance you will find many more that ended in a divorce. Enjoy your time as a couple and set a relationship pace that is not too fast and not too slow. Ideally some matchmaker experts such as Patti Stanger from "The Millionaire Matchmaker", suggest that if a man doesn't propose within a year, then you need to leave the relationship. This can sometimes be a good suggestion especially for men and women that are 30+. If you are in your 20's then there is certainly no need to expect an engagement within a year. And of course if you never wish to get married, well then this suggestion doesn't apply to you. You will get the most out of your relationship if you let it grow at a moderate pace.