Sincerity and Power in Relating - Who Is the Boss

I always surrendered control of all the family's finances to the women I have been married to or are married to now. Most people will call me reckless, stupid, foolish or insane but I disagree with that verdict. It is my responsibility to trust and it is the duty of the person I interact with to be trustworthy. To trust is our responsibility. If we trust we will always come out on top - not as a millionaire, or as a winner but always functional, in better control of ourselves and more experienced.

I agree that married women, in general, will hide money from their spouses, especially when she has children. A woman just does not feel secure when she has no financial recourses to her name and for the future. Even when a wife is given 100% control of the finances she still insists on squirreling money away in case of divorce. No matter what; she will come out on top - that is the female inclination, generally. In truth, sincere men cannot win one-on-one contests of will with women - if the power of wealth a man may have is not a weapon in the contest. The wealth of a man, however, certainly can be an object of female intrigue in a contest to win the man.

The husband in the British TV serial "Keeping Appearances" is a good example of a sincere man overtaken and subdued by the intense drive in women to be on top. This husband seems to have been reduced to human rubble, but he is a man of incredible inner strength. That is the difference between stable, reliable men and women in general. I have deep respect for that man. If it was not for the man in that marriage that marriage would long-ago have ended in divorce. In spite of the reliability of the man a marriage may still end in divorce because women in general do not (cannot) appreciate a good man.

Men tend to reveal character aspects of themselves while women conceal almost all their private inner aspects. Women tend to be calculating and distrustful in there relating with men while men seek to reveal their private aspects to win the trust of the female. Harry Belafonte sings, "Women are smarter". They really are not. Women are driven by fear - fear of exposure and fear of being victimized.

Men feel lonely. Men seek the trust of women. Men dare, women calculate and are prone to deceive those who trust them. It is not men who are women's best friends - diamonds are. Now a days, women intend to earn the diamonds themselves by outdoing men in education and business prowess, but such women are caricatures of their own femininity; they lack wholesomeness. I stay a half a mile away from such women.

It is a fact that of all non-adopted children living in a natural family relationship one in ten calls the wrong man daddy. In most of these cases the woman knows who the real daddy is, and conceals this fact with all her might from her spouse. It, all, doesn't really matter but it proves calculated insincerity. If one loves a child deeply it really does not matter who the father is. Relationships are private matters. Once a relationship is established in trust, love and respect it is real and not easily torn asunder.

Wives/mothers, also, (in general) will make sure that mamma is loved much more than daddy. Daddy, after two or more children, is mostly accepted to provide the family income and otherwise, in the estimation of the average woman, is mostly a superfluous pain in the neck.

These sorts of antics by women, however, do not excuse a man from not trusting the person whom he accepted as a mate for life. Divorce is an escape for women; it should never be initiated by men, or secretly planned by men to be executed by their spouses. If men cannot be true they have no right to see themselves as men.

I believe gay men, instinctively, have a deeper insight into women than heterosexual men. Gays, the kind that actually want to marry each other, seek true love in a real relationship. They relate to another man because in a sincere gay relationship the trust factor is so much deeper than in heterosexual relationships.

I, also, do not write this to put women down. One cannot do that because these traits are inherent in the phenomena of womanhood. But, it is often true that when the sale (marriage) has been consummated, one begins to learn the character of the salesman (spouse). If I had to compare the sexes to certain animals I would say that men are more like dogs and women more like cats.

If one distrusts others one is a thoroughly untrustworthy character and guilty of deeply-held guilt. (As the innkeeper trusts his guests so is he himself) Such people continue to make the world a hell and they keep erect the barriers that prevent the world to be a healthy and peaceful place. Not that the world will be ever a peaceful place - its reason for being lies in absolutely necessary contention between all critters to exist at all. One cannot disagree that earth is a battle star - everything contents with the environment (the environment is a hurdle, everything disintegrated, most critters content for power or succumbs as prey to become another critter's slave or next meal.

Earth is also a place of redemption for those who can grasp the reason for us to be here at all. Religion, of any kind whatever, will only deepen the enigma of our earthly beingness. It is not religion but understanding, and not even just human but spiritual understanding, that provides our souls' way home. It is an understanding arrived at through series of battles, wins and defeat. Without experiencing devastating personal defeat, one cannot see the truth.

Somewhere in the interplay between the innate characters of men and women exists the spiritual ectoplasm through which mankind continues to inhabit the world. It is not necessarily the joining of an ovum and a sperm cell but a mental and spiritual interplay between the essential female and male's attitudes and characters that cause the forward march of humanity.

This, of course, is written through the colored experience, insight and wisdom of a man. It cannot be completely correct; and it is not intended to be such. This article is written to induce people to contemplate their inner character and motivations; and to gain support, courage and insight for being totally oneself and support the one chosen with all one's might, insight and trust. I believe that in true reality that is the way sensible entities exist - totally and honestly upfront. It is our goal in earth to learn the precious value of being truthful or at least grasp the meaning and value of trust. Understanding leads to spiritual redemption because our spiritual fall is tied to the fact that we distrusted our true maker and accepted a deceiver as the truth-sayer. The deceiver lied to allow us to make a quantum jump in spiritual awareness and beingness. Earth is the test bed. Those who overcome the hurdles of life by distilling the meaning and reason for being here made boot camp and rise to a new spiritual height as soul.

In way of a caveat, I have not included in this article the criminal foam of humanity that always rises to the surface, politically, financial or beastly so. I am talking about normal people who believe they are sincere and socially responsible. I have no advice for criminals - not necessarily criminals as defined by government, but as the betrayal of trust of one person in a relationship of two. Cruelty and intentional insincerity or power play by one person inflicted on another living person, seen or understood from any angle, is always criminal. Our interpretation of the word criminal must rise exponentially above the word criminal as defined and understood legally. People who insist on always being the winner never play fair

It I said that business is war - that winning is all. Winning is an admission that you are so immature that you must by hook and by crook and through any unfair means or through betrayal overpower your opponent, People with much greater resources and power mow the little leaguers out of the way - destroy their changes to keep a small business going - a business that made a go of it through hard work and little resources; and these people use the income from the business to raise good children and struggle to give them higher education, Such people win for the sake of winning. Win or die people are socially unstable. To be able to help another remain in the game that takes insight, courage. Many handicapped people are helped, trained, supported and given the courage and enthusiasm to go for it and win. Helping others win is must better than to do the winning yourself. The constant super-winners are losers in all other aspects, they are too cowardly to show kindness - they have an attitude problem and thus live a loveless existence. These people are loose flying cannon balls in society. Thank god, I don't know any!