3 Reasons Why People Fear Commitment

The relationship cycle is a simple one. You meet, develop your connection through dating, as you learn more about each other your relationship deepens, and then, if you are still together you reach the stage where you want to spend the rest of your lives together and you marry, at least that's the theory. In order for a relationship to become richer and deeper you have to keep moving forward, the final natural step in a relationship is marriage. If you have a good relationship together then this should present no problems, but all to many people fear taking that final step. There are many reasons why people fear commitment. The situation is not helped by the fact that the divorce rate is so high. Maybe it's a reflection on our consumer driven society, if it's broke then get a new one, why waste time on fixing the old one...

Fear Of Being Hurt

No-one wants to be hurt, we all want to lead happy lives, but real life is not like that. Far too many people have been through divorces, some more than once. Relationships today can form and disintegrate with frightening rapidity. If you have been hurt before, then you will be wary of it happening again. If you have been hurt multiple times then you are going to shy away from anything that could take you through that pain again. If you have endured repeated relationship break-ups then it is understandable that you become a bit fatalistic about relationships. Why should you want to set yourself up to go through all that pain and hurt again. Have you looked at why those relationships failed, have you tried to achieve closure on them? Every time that you went through a failed relationship and didn't achieve closure it added to the baggage that you are carrying and it will poison your life. If you ever hope to find happiness then you will have to deal with your ghosts first.

Fear of the Unknown

Some people fear commitment because they fear the unknown. They have settled into nice comfortable lives that they are happy with that. Why bother with committing to just one, special person when in their current state they can have as many relationships as they want, all their decisions revolve around what is best for them, and if they are not happy in a relationship then they can go back to being single. The very idea of commitment scares them because it means taking on a new and alien lifestyle. They can no longer be selfish and just live for themselves, they have to consider the wants and needs of someone else. Their freedom becomes curtailed. They can no longer do what they want, and what happens if it all goes wrong, they can't just run away anymore, they have to work through problems. If you get to comfortable in a lifestyle then you can become stuck in a rut, you will not move forward, you will be unable to build lasting relationships, you might never find happiness. Sometimes in life you have to take chances, if you never commit to someone then you could be losing out on something very special.

How To Trust

Trust is the foundation of all relationships, without trust you cannot have a relationship, could you have a relationship with someone whom you could not trust? When you lose your trust in someone it is incredibly difficult to regain it, and it's possible that you might never learn to trust that person again. When you enter a relationship you freely give your trust to your partner, you have to or you will never get past the first date. If you have been let down and betrayed time and time again, then I would imagine that it could be virtually impossible to trust anyone. If you cannot trust anyone then you will never be able to get close to anyone, you will always be waiting for them to leave you. Talk to your partner about the difficulties that you are having and get the support that you need from them. Ultimately though, the only person who can help is you,, you have to tell yourself that you can trust, you have to believe in your judgement, or you will spend the remainder of your days hiding from life. Get what ever help you need, work on self-affirmation exercises, re-build your faith in yourself, and learn how to trust.

There are a wide range of reasons as to why people fear commitment, and to deal with them you have to identify them and work through them together. Your relationship cannot stay still, if it does that it will stagnate and fail. If your relationship is to progress to the next level then it has to be something that you both want, neither of you should even consider trying to hurry the other along as that can lead to resentment. If you are both happy and comfortable with each other, if you are both working to create the best relationship that you can, then there is no reason for your to fear commitment.