Are We Compatible? 3 Ways to Tell

Living with the same person, in a confined space for a very long time with everything going well all of the time, isn't natural. Anyone that says, "We never fight or have an argument," is lying or stuffing a lot of emotional junk just to keep the relationship in harmony.

As the old saying goes, "it ain't happening." Every couple on God's planet has compatibility issues, sometimes. You have to expect a difference of opinions, different activity levels, and different view points at some time - it's healthy to disagree, it's OK to be upset. How you deal with these disagreements and upsets is what makes compatibility work.

There are about ten or twelve major life areas to consider when you think about how compatible you are as a twosome - emotions, independence, and life routines are only three.

- Emotions are ever-present in our daily undertakings with our partner - how important are your feelings and how do you express them to your partner. Can you share how you feel and does your partner listen and comfort you when you are distressed? Being able to have your feelings and not always having to explain why you feel how you feel is an important aspect of compatibility.

- Independence is a major aspect of happy relationships. Being able to visit and spend time with your friends and family alone is vital to personal freedom. Spending time on your hobbies or whatever you choose to do in your "down" time allows each partner to grow in the relationship. Every person should feel comfortable and easy about developing their own identity and living the lifestyle they choose without the fear of being criticized.

- Life routines are huge - how do each of you spend your time each day and how different is his from yours? Do you enjoy each other's company when shopping, going out to dinner, do you like and enjoy the same types of movies, do you find interest in his choice of reading materials, and can you both agree on where to go on vacation? Do your sleep patterns coincide or is he an early to bed early to rise person, while you are a late to bed and late to get up type?

Though these are just a few, they are important in their own right. One area not covered here is how you handle the everyday business of running your household.

Chores - such an odd word - but one that can cause enormous problems in the relationship. Do you seem to do most of the daily duties of making the household run smoothly? Does your partner always seem to be waiting for you to tidy up, take out the trash, start dinner, clean the toilet, and start the laundry. These are areas of conflict in may relationships.

Taking stock of how you handle your daily routines and determining if they are working for both of you is essential to the success of your relationship.

"God gives every bird its food, but He doesn't throw it into its nest." J.G. Holland understood that it takes activity to accomplish, working at making your relationship work is a joint-venture.